The Day I Scratched Fingers

It think we really messed up No.2's ability to sleep on his own since we kept him in our room until he was about 7-months old.  We were finishing the basement and then moved our make-shift family room down there, put No.1 in the old make-shift family room, and gave No.1 No.2's old room.  Ever since then, he's not been that great about putting himself to sleep.

We've tried loads of methods - the no cry, the cry it out, the keep-him-up-until-he-passes-out.  My favorite and what worked with No.1 was the no cry.  Just rock them, sing to them, soothe them until they start to fade, then put them down.  It worked wonderfully for No.1.  No.2?  Notsomuch.  We reversed the lock on No.2's door and tried the cry it out.  He just cried and when he finally passed out, it was after he'd trashed his room and curled up right behind the door.  And the keep-him-up-until-he-passes-out is just ridiculous.

The one thing that has always worked was lying him in bed and stroking his hair until he fell asleep.  This  resulted in a peaceful night's rest, until he woke up and couldn't stroke his own hair to self-soothe himself back to sleep so he'd end up in our bed.  So, I started to ween.  I moved from his hair to his arm. I'd softly rub his arm until he fell asleep.  Several hours later, he'd be in our bed. Finally, I moved to only stroking his hand (he calls is "skach bing-guh's" (scratch fingers)).  My goal it to eventually rid him of his dependance on me and all will be right with the night-time world.

For the last couple weeks, I've tried my best to just put No.2 down and walk away.  Sometimes I would have to resort to the Super Nanny technique and walk him back to his bed several times, but it was working.

Then tonight, No.2 asked, "Skach bing-guh's?"  I said, "No, I have to go work."  Then I imediately felt guilty.  The "work" I had to do was not pressing.  It was actually coming to the computer to type up today's blog post.  What would be better?  Sitting at my computer for 30-minutes trying to think of something to write about that had an impact on my mothering or to break the rules I've set for myself regarding No.2's bedtime routine and think about my post there?

I bent over his bed, took his fingers in mine, and began to softly brush them with my thumb.  His skin is so soft.  His little face so cherubic in the light of his Cloud B Turtle star light.  His gentle grasp of my finger so tender and sweet.  I'm glad I broke my rule.  I was able to cherish a moment and make a memory.

Sure, I might have set him back a few days on his road to self-sleep, but it was worth it.

Besides, I got a pretty good blog post out of it all.

So, here's to bending rules.

Here's to tiny fingers.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.