With family here, we have stayed up way too late these last few nights. And you know what happens when I don't get my sleep: Bad Mommy Me.
I really struggled to keep my temper today and be forgiving of overly tired boys. We were all tired, but I'm sure it could have been a much worse day if I had blown up.
But, I kept it together.
Phew.
So, here's to seeing things for what they are.
Here's to holding back.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
The Day I Cought Fire
My husbands two sisters and I went to the movies today. We watched Catching Fire. It was fantastic! Several of my friends and family members have chosen not to read the Hunger Games series because of the premise. I get that. Who wants to read about kids killing kids in a "game"? But that is all they know about it. What they don't understand is that the books are really about the power of one. How one girl changes an entire nation by first giving hope to others that things can change.
I love the idea that one person can make a difference. In fact, that was the foundation of my Salutatorian speech in high school. I really do believe that one can change thousands. I believe that to be true, but I never want to be that person.
I don't like to stick out in the crowd. I don't like to be the center of attention. I don't even like to receive praise for a job well done. It makes me uncomfortable. But then I thought, wait a minute, I am making a difference every day I teach, every moment I show I care, every second I love my boys.
My influence is real, so it had better be positive. My impact is powerful, so it better be in the right direction. My love is strong, so it better be lasting.
So, here's to making a difference.
Here's to positive influence.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
I love the idea that one person can make a difference. In fact, that was the foundation of my Salutatorian speech in high school. I really do believe that one can change thousands. I believe that to be true, but I never want to be that person.
I don't like to stick out in the crowd. I don't like to be the center of attention. I don't even like to receive praise for a job well done. It makes me uncomfortable. But then I thought, wait a minute, I am making a difference every day I teach, every moment I show I care, every second I love my boys.
My influence is real, so it had better be positive. My impact is powerful, so it better be in the right direction. My love is strong, so it better be lasting.
So, here's to making a difference.
Here's to positive influence.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
The Day I Was Gluttonous
Happy Thanksgiving!
My in-laws are in town, my sister-in-law is here too, and we are all eating at another s-i-l's home along with a b-i-l and some family friends (yes, 3 of the 4 children from my husbands family live right by me - side note: we were here first).
I was charged with mashed potatoes, rolls, green salad, and cranberry sauce (No.1 asked for it - and he was the only one with some on his plate). I made 10lbs of potatoes, 98 crescent rolls, a huge bowl of salad, and one bag of cranberries. I was told to make a lot because there was going to be a lot of people.
I came home with at least 6lbs of potatoes, 30 rolls (they really were a hit), almost all the salad, and all but 2T of cranberry sauce.
When I look at all that food that came home I wondered why I worked so hard to make so much, but then I thought about how peaceful it was this morning to bake and cook quietly in my kitchen while the boys played upstairs. I thought of how blessed I am to be able to afford the food I prepared. I thought about how lucky I was to be born to a wonderful mother who taught me my way around the kitchen (although I'm the not greatest cook, I can follow a recipe like nobodies business!).
So, although I did not gouge myself out on turkey, stuffing, beans, gravy, potatoes, salad, rolls, sour kraut, pies, jello salad, ham and all the other things that way outnumbered the guest, I did find my self a bit gluttonous with blessings.
So, here's to wonderful food.
Here's to thanksgiving.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
My in-laws are in town, my sister-in-law is here too, and we are all eating at another s-i-l's home along with a b-i-l and some family friends (yes, 3 of the 4 children from my husbands family live right by me - side note: we were here first).
I was charged with mashed potatoes, rolls, green salad, and cranberry sauce (No.1 asked for it - and he was the only one with some on his plate). I made 10lbs of potatoes, 98 crescent rolls, a huge bowl of salad, and one bag of cranberries. I was told to make a lot because there was going to be a lot of people.
I came home with at least 6lbs of potatoes, 30 rolls (they really were a hit), almost all the salad, and all but 2T of cranberry sauce.
When I look at all that food that came home I wondered why I worked so hard to make so much, but then I thought about how peaceful it was this morning to bake and cook quietly in my kitchen while the boys played upstairs. I thought of how blessed I am to be able to afford the food I prepared. I thought about how lucky I was to be born to a wonderful mother who taught me my way around the kitchen (although I'm the not greatest cook, I can follow a recipe like nobodies business!).
So, although I did not gouge myself out on turkey, stuffing, beans, gravy, potatoes, salad, rolls, sour kraut, pies, jello salad, ham and all the other things that way outnumbered the guest, I did find my self a bit gluttonous with blessings.
So, here's to wonderful food.
Here's to thanksgiving.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
The Day I Saw Bravery
No.1 has had a loose tooth since, well, who knows when. His teeth get loose, then take F-O-R-E-V-E-R to fall out. For example, his first tooth was loose in November and he didn't lose it until May!
Today, after judging it was loose enough to try tying a string to it, No.1 said he was ready to give it a try. He originally wanted to try the door slam method, but then I had an idea. We tied a stack of 7 hardbound books to the loose end of the dental floss. I handed him the stack of books and, while filming the event, encouraged him to drop the books.
A few times he hesitated. I could tell he wanted to go through with it, but he was nervous. I told him that if he really wanted to do it to just count to 3 and drop the books. He took a breath, then 1 - 2 - 3, the books were down and his first upper central incisor was out!
We laughed, he ate some ice cream, we put the tooth in his monster tooth pillow, and the tooth fairy delivered a gold dollar.
As I reflect on those three quick seconds, I can see how No.1 took charge, took responsibility, and took courage. He was in control and followed through with his goal. Although I may be stubborn and determined, I'm not always courageous. I don't always possess that mental strength to persevere. Sure, it was just a tooth, but No.1 was so nervous and despite his nerves, he followed through.
So, here's to courageous perseverance.
Here's to lessons from 6-year olds.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Today, after judging it was loose enough to try tying a string to it, No.1 said he was ready to give it a try. He originally wanted to try the door slam method, but then I had an idea. We tied a stack of 7 hardbound books to the loose end of the dental floss. I handed him the stack of books and, while filming the event, encouraged him to drop the books.
A few times he hesitated. I could tell he wanted to go through with it, but he was nervous. I told him that if he really wanted to do it to just count to 3 and drop the books. He took a breath, then 1 - 2 - 3, the books were down and his first upper central incisor was out!
We laughed, he ate some ice cream, we put the tooth in his monster tooth pillow, and the tooth fairy delivered a gold dollar.
As I reflect on those three quick seconds, I can see how No.1 took charge, took responsibility, and took courage. He was in control and followed through with his goal. Although I may be stubborn and determined, I'm not always courageous. I don't always possess that mental strength to persevere. Sure, it was just a tooth, but No.1 was so nervous and despite his nerves, he followed through.
So, here's to courageous perseverance.
Here's to lessons from 6-year olds.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
The Day I Was Nervous
No.1 had a little classroom play on Thanksgiving today. He has been practicing his lines for a week and has them down pat, but as I stood in the back of the classroom this afternoon filming his performance, I couldn't help but be nervous for my little man. I want him to succeed. I want him to have confidence. I want him to feel proud of the work he has done.
When it was his turn, No.1 lowered his visual aides (which heretofore had been up over his mouth), took a deep breath, looked at me for a split second, then, to the audience, delivered his lines flawlessly.
You would have thought he had just won gold at the Olympics for the joy I felt inside. He had succeeded! He performed with confidence. He was proud of himself.
So, here's to great performances.
Here's to hard work.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
When it was his turn, No.1 lowered his visual aides (which heretofore had been up over his mouth), took a deep breath, looked at me for a split second, then, to the audience, delivered his lines flawlessly.
You would have thought he had just won gold at the Olympics for the joy I felt inside. He had succeeded! He performed with confidence. He was proud of himself.
So, here's to great performances.
Here's to hard work.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Monday, November 25, 2013
The Day I Was Glad to Have a Reader
Monday's are my day to go in and help out in No.1's classroom. I file papers, run copies, you know, the works. Because the students have a short week (off Wed-Fri), I had very little to do, so I asked how I could be of more help since I had the time. The teacher pointed out a student who has pretty much been put in his own reading group because he is so far behind all the others. She asked that he read to me.
I pulled up a tiny chair next to his desk and he began to read aloud. He loves to read, but struggles terribly. Simple words like "tan" and "nab" were not in his regular vocabulary. He had difficulty sounding out even the simplest of sight words like "and" and "has". He made his way through two short book (the little one line, four words per sentence, I-can-learn-to-read books).
When he was finished, I tested his comprehension. I had been doing it a bit throughout the books, but wanted to see how long he could remember. He failed. Bless his heart, the child has not reading comprehension.
I am sure he will catch on (apparently, according to the teacher, he spent pretty much all of kindergarten isolated from peers due to behavior - which I don't see at all now), but what a ladder he has to climb! It really made me grateful for No.1 and not only his ability for, but love of reading. He reads the Scripture Readers each night, he reads chapter books at school and home, he reads about things, he reads to No.2. What a blessing it is to have a good reader.
So, here's to literacy.
Here's to instilling it in our children.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
I pulled up a tiny chair next to his desk and he began to read aloud. He loves to read, but struggles terribly. Simple words like "tan" and "nab" were not in his regular vocabulary. He had difficulty sounding out even the simplest of sight words like "and" and "has". He made his way through two short book (the little one line, four words per sentence, I-can-learn-to-read books).
When he was finished, I tested his comprehension. I had been doing it a bit throughout the books, but wanted to see how long he could remember. He failed. Bless his heart, the child has not reading comprehension.
I am sure he will catch on (apparently, according to the teacher, he spent pretty much all of kindergarten isolated from peers due to behavior - which I don't see at all now), but what a ladder he has to climb! It really made me grateful for No.1 and not only his ability for, but love of reading. He reads the Scripture Readers each night, he reads chapter books at school and home, he reads about things, he reads to No.2. What a blessing it is to have a good reader.
So, here's to literacy.
Here's to instilling it in our children.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
The Day I Was Edified
Every Sunday I partake of the sacrament. I take the bread and the water in remembrance ofthe Savior's atoning sacrifice. However, I don't always get, no, make the chance to ponder and reflect on this sacred ordinance. I am usually trying to help No.1 and No.2 stay quiet. I read softly articles from the Friend magazine, I show tyem pictures of Christ, I keep them from kicking each other. I rarely think about what the sacrament means to me.
Today, No.2 has a headache (we think, I mean he's 2, how much can he communicate beside "owie, head"?) and No.1 has digestion issues (ie. diarrhea), so I was alone at church. I was alone during the sacrament. I was alone to partake of the bread and drink the water. I was alone to ponder.
As the cool water flowed down my throat, I distinctly felt the meaning of the sacred sacrament. I felt the prompting to now go and do better this week. Thoughts came to my mind to go forth and be more patient, be less contentious, be more loving, be less nagging, be more charitable, be less judgemental.
So, here's to feeling renewed.
Here's to trying again.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
The Day I Created a Baker
I was running a little late getting dinner ready today. We had guests coming at 5 and it was 4:30. I asked No.1 to come help me in the kitchen. I made dinner while he made brownies.
I don't know what came over me to allow him to do this, let alone assign him the task, but I'm glad I did. I gave him instructions on where to find the mix, got the Pyrex, ingredients, and measuring cup out for him, but other than that he was on his own. He read the instructions and followed them beautifully. He made the brownies all by himself. I was there to answer questions and hold the bowl when he scooped the batter into his generously greased dish. Although he didn't say, I could see the pride on his face.
When the guests came, he announced in a matter-of-fact way that he had made the brownies.
So, here's to exploration in the culinary arts.
Here's to being there for back-up and aide.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
I don't know what came over me to allow him to do this, let alone assign him the task, but I'm glad I did. I gave him instructions on where to find the mix, got the Pyrex, ingredients, and measuring cup out for him, but other than that he was on his own. He read the instructions and followed them beautifully. He made the brownies all by himself. I was there to answer questions and hold the bowl when he scooped the batter into his generously greased dish. Although he didn't say, I could see the pride on his face.
When the guests came, he announced in a matter-of-fact way that he had made the brownies.
So, here's to exploration in the culinary arts.
Here's to being there for back-up and aide.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Friday, November 22, 2013
The Day I Evaluated My Ideals
My husband says I have an iron will. That's not always a good thing. I do things like withhold bathroom privileges from myself until all the floors are clean or go hungry until the dishes are done and laundry folded. Today, I gave up sleep to finish a video project.
After the boys were asleep, I set up the video camera, recorded a piano solo, uploaded it to the computer, searched for the perfect images to accompany the song, compiled it all together in Pinnacle, and got it ready to upload. The project took me about 4.5 hours. It was 2:45am by the time I was done (I'm altering the date of this post to reflect the day I actually started the project).
I have to go to a dress rehearsal, accompany a choir, and sing in another tomorrow morning at 8:30am. WHAT WAS I THINKING?
Still, it feels good to have it done.
I hope that my boys see my dedication to work before play. It is a great philosophy to live by in to create order and balance in life. However, I also want them to see the times I set that ideal aside and just have spontaneous fun with them. Put the dish cloth down and play Lego's. Hang the broom up to read train books. Leave the clothes in the dryer to race cars.
Work is important, but so is fun.
I need to redirect my self-discipline sometimes to what is most important. Maybe it is Lego's. The dishes can wait a while; this window of time with my son won't wait.
So, here's to the idea of ideals.
Here's to will-power.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
After the boys were asleep, I set up the video camera, recorded a piano solo, uploaded it to the computer, searched for the perfect images to accompany the song, compiled it all together in Pinnacle, and got it ready to upload. The project took me about 4.5 hours. It was 2:45am by the time I was done (I'm altering the date of this post to reflect the day I actually started the project).
I have to go to a dress rehearsal, accompany a choir, and sing in another tomorrow morning at 8:30am. WHAT WAS I THINKING?
Still, it feels good to have it done.
I hope that my boys see my dedication to work before play. It is a great philosophy to live by in to create order and balance in life. However, I also want them to see the times I set that ideal aside and just have spontaneous fun with them. Put the dish cloth down and play Lego's. Hang the broom up to read train books. Leave the clothes in the dryer to race cars.
Work is important, but so is fun.
I need to redirect my self-discipline sometimes to what is most important. Maybe it is Lego's. The dishes can wait a while; this window of time with my son won't wait.
So, here's to the idea of ideals.
Here's to will-power.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
The Day I Got Advice in the Library
When No.1 comes home from school some times and talks to me about
different kids ("Billy kicked me during recess", "Eve keeps talking to
me during lunch and I can't eat", "Frank doesn't pay attention in class
and it bothers me", etc), I often have advice for him ("Ask Billy not to
kick and let him know that if he does it again you will have to let the
teacher know", "Tell Eve you are hungry and although you are interested
to hear what she has to say it is time to eat", "Be a good example to
Frank; show him what good listening looks like", etc).
Today I got a little more advice to serve.
Our Relief Society went to our new library for a tour and to help out.
One of my former students was our guide. She did a lovely job and I'd like to think that her beginnings in my class had something to do with her public speaking abilities :)
After the short tour, we were led to the back rooms where projects awaited us. Cutting, pasting, tracing...the works (felt like kindergarten). Another sister and I cataloged new books. She put the bar codes on the back, and I put the clear sticker on top. We made a good team.
Funny thing is that this woman is not one of my best friends, but I enjoyed her company as we worked in tandem. It was nice to just chat. No committed conversations, but pleasant chatter.
When No.1 has issues with working with non-friend-friends, I will now have some more advice to give: hey, you don't have to be the best of friends to work well together to get a job done. And I can give that advice having lived it. This, of course, was not the first time I've lived this advice, but now that I've put words to it, I'll be better prepared for when "Caron has to be my partner and I'm not sure I even like her" comes up.
So, here's to good advice.
Here's to being ready.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Today I got a little more advice to serve.
Our Relief Society went to our new library for a tour and to help out.
One of my former students was our guide. She did a lovely job and I'd like to think that her beginnings in my class had something to do with her public speaking abilities :)
After the short tour, we were led to the back rooms where projects awaited us. Cutting, pasting, tracing...the works (felt like kindergarten). Another sister and I cataloged new books. She put the bar codes on the back, and I put the clear sticker on top. We made a good team.
Funny thing is that this woman is not one of my best friends, but I enjoyed her company as we worked in tandem. It was nice to just chat. No committed conversations, but pleasant chatter.
When No.1 has issues with working with non-friend-friends, I will now have some more advice to give: hey, you don't have to be the best of friends to work well together to get a job done. And I can give that advice having lived it. This, of course, was not the first time I've lived this advice, but now that I've put words to it, I'll be better prepared for when "Caron has to be my partner and I'm not sure I even like her" comes up.
So, here's to good advice.
Here's to being ready.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
The Day I Got a Lump
I belong to a community choir. We perform mostly sacred works, but the occasional PDQ Bach is thrown in. This season we will be singing one of my all time favorite songs from my youth: "Where Love Is".
Tonight was rehearsal. Our concert is Sunday. We ran through "Where Love Is" first.
I stand right to the right of the director. She likes to look at me and smile. Tonight, as we sang this beautiful number I got a little choked up. I hoped she wouldn't look at me and smile. She didn't.
I get embarrassed when I get emotional. I guess that means I get embarrassed when I get embarrassed, too. Anyway, I digress. I was just touched by the lyrics. They put a lump in my throat.
I also wondered if God is in our home. The lyrics are "Where love is, there God is also." I hope people feel love in my home and in turn feel the presence of God. I especially hope my children feel it.
So, here's to inviting love.
Here's to little lumps.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Where love is, there God is also.
We think of him rev’rently.
Teach us to pray, to talk with him above
And know that he will guide us with his love.
Where love is, there God is also.
And with him we want to be.
Show us the way and guide us tenderly
That we may dwell with him eternally.
Tonight was rehearsal. Our concert is Sunday. We ran through "Where Love Is" first.
I stand right to the right of the director. She likes to look at me and smile. Tonight, as we sang this beautiful number I got a little choked up. I hoped she wouldn't look at me and smile. She didn't.
I get embarrassed when I get emotional. I guess that means I get embarrassed when I get embarrassed, too. Anyway, I digress. I was just touched by the lyrics. They put a lump in my throat.
I also wondered if God is in our home. The lyrics are "Where love is, there God is also." I hope people feel love in my home and in turn feel the presence of God. I especially hope my children feel it.
So, here's to inviting love.
Here's to little lumps.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Where love is, there God is also.
Where love is, we want to be.
Guide us, his truths to follow;
Help us obey him faithfully.
Where love is, we want to be.
Guide us, his truths to follow;
Help us obey him faithfully.
Where love is, there God is also.
We think of him rev’rently.
Teach us to pray, to talk with him above
And know that he will guide us with his love.
The comfort of loving arms around us,
A song that makes us want to sing,
The happiness we feel when love has found us,
’Tis love we get when love we bring.
A song that makes us want to sing,
The happiness we feel when love has found us,
’Tis love we get when love we bring.
And with him we want to be.
Show us the way and guide us tenderly
That we may dwell with him eternally.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
The Day I Just Kept Going
You know that pink Energizer bunny? Well, I gave him a run for his money today. I have been wiped out, physically exhausted these last few days because I've been staying up crocheting gifts. I finished No.1 and No.2's Christmas tree ornaments and am currently feverishly working on washcloths for friends and family. It's a lot of work and late nights, but it will be worth it, I hope (I made homemade gifts last year - picture block puzzles specific for each family, and one family member called me cheap - it hurt, still does).
Anyway, despite my late hours, I still have to be Mommy.
So, even though I wanted to pull the covers up and sleep 'til noon, I put on a bright face and went to work - lunch packed, breakfast made, kids clothed, teeth brushed, bed made (oh, wait, I didn't actually get that done), school drop off, car inspected, washcloth crocheted, errands run, homework monitored, papers signed, dinner fixed, dishes done, piano practiced, pajamas done, teeth brushed, prayers said, scriptures read, scrapbook done, papers filed, plus all the stuff in between. And through it all, I'm proud to say, I kept my cool and by about lunchtime I didn't have to put on a bright face, it was there all by itself. I was a good mom today behavior wise. And do you know why? Because I chose to be.
I learned that even though I could blame poor behavior on lack of sleep, the choice was really mine. I learned that even though I might feel spent, there is still more I can get out of myself if I make my mind up to do so. I learned that being the Enegrizer Bunny might not be the best way to spend a day, but if it needs to be done, I can do it with a happy attitude.
So, here's to faking it til you make it.
Here's to making good choices.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Anyway, despite my late hours, I still have to be Mommy.
So, even though I wanted to pull the covers up and sleep 'til noon, I put on a bright face and went to work - lunch packed, breakfast made, kids clothed, teeth brushed, bed made (oh, wait, I didn't actually get that done), school drop off, car inspected, washcloth crocheted, errands run, homework monitored, papers signed, dinner fixed, dishes done, piano practiced, pajamas done, teeth brushed, prayers said, scriptures read, scrapbook done, papers filed, plus all the stuff in between. And through it all, I'm proud to say, I kept my cool and by about lunchtime I didn't have to put on a bright face, it was there all by itself. I was a good mom today behavior wise. And do you know why? Because I chose to be.
I learned that even though I could blame poor behavior on lack of sleep, the choice was really mine. I learned that even though I might feel spent, there is still more I can get out of myself if I make my mind up to do so. I learned that being the Enegrizer Bunny might not be the best way to spend a day, but if it needs to be done, I can do it with a happy attitude.
So, here's to faking it til you make it.
Here's to making good choices.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Monday, November 18, 2013
The Day I Made It Up as I Went Along
It's Monday. Family Home Evening. I had planned Saturday that we would make caramel apples for the activity and treat, so that was ready. What wasn't ready was a lesson. I pretty much always have that planned out and ready to go at least before dinner on Monday nights. After all, kids can smell when you're going off the cuff and totally run wild with it. So, I'm usually prepared. But today I wasn't. Luckily the lesson just happened.
The apples would need to be chilled before we could eat them. I decided it would be better if we made the apples before FHE, set them in the fridge during, and eat after. So, I made the caramel and called the boys down when it was ready.
No one came.
I pulled the bowl off the stove and dipped my own apple - for an example, you know - all the while calling for the boys to come down and join me.
Still, no one came.
Now, I'm not a perfect candy maker, but I know that once the caramel is ready, it is ready and the peak will never come again, but I had to put it back on the make-shift double boiler and go get the boys. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and literally screamed (I'm sure the neighbors heard, really). Finally, my husband said, "What?" A sign of life.
The boys came down, we said a prayer then started with the not-so-prime caramel again. It worked pretty well on No.1's, ok on No.2's, and not so much on my husbands. No.1 said mine looked so nice and smooth.
*Ding* Teaching Opportunity:
Instantly I knew what our lesson was to be on. Here's how it went:
Me: No.1, did you hear me call you the first time?
No.1: No.
M: Did you hear me call you a second time to come make the apples?
1: No.
M: Why couldn't you hear me?
1: Because the computer's (he was playing Minecraft with Daddy) volume was all the way up.
M: Oh, so you couldn't hear me because other things were blocking my voice?
1: Yes.
M: Sometimes the Holy Ghost wants to talk to us and we can't hear because other things are blocking him like bad choices we make. Because you didn't hear me calling you the first time, the caramel wasn't as good when you finally came downstairs. When we can't hear the Holy Ghost, we miss out on the best things.
Or at least it went something like that. But no worries, it all made sense.
So, here's to impromtu lessons lead by the Spirit.
Here's to making connections.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
PS. The apples all tasted great!
The apples would need to be chilled before we could eat them. I decided it would be better if we made the apples before FHE, set them in the fridge during, and eat after. So, I made the caramel and called the boys down when it was ready.
No one came.
I pulled the bowl off the stove and dipped my own apple - for an example, you know - all the while calling for the boys to come down and join me.
Still, no one came.
Now, I'm not a perfect candy maker, but I know that once the caramel is ready, it is ready and the peak will never come again, but I had to put it back on the make-shift double boiler and go get the boys. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and literally screamed (I'm sure the neighbors heard, really). Finally, my husband said, "What?" A sign of life.
The boys came down, we said a prayer then started with the not-so-prime caramel again. It worked pretty well on No.1's, ok on No.2's, and not so much on my husbands. No.1 said mine looked so nice and smooth.
*Ding* Teaching Opportunity:
Instantly I knew what our lesson was to be on. Here's how it went:
Me: No.1, did you hear me call you the first time?
No.1: No.
M: Did you hear me call you a second time to come make the apples?
1: No.
M: Why couldn't you hear me?
1: Because the computer's (he was playing Minecraft with Daddy) volume was all the way up.
M: Oh, so you couldn't hear me because other things were blocking my voice?
1: Yes.
M: Sometimes the Holy Ghost wants to talk to us and we can't hear because other things are blocking him like bad choices we make. Because you didn't hear me calling you the first time, the caramel wasn't as good when you finally came downstairs. When we can't hear the Holy Ghost, we miss out on the best things.
Or at least it went something like that. But no worries, it all made sense.
So, here's to impromtu lessons lead by the Spirit.
Here's to making connections.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
PS. The apples all tasted great!
Sunday, November 17, 2013
The Day I Scratched Fingers
It think we really messed up No.2's ability to sleep on his own since we kept him in our room until he was about 7-months old. We were finishing the basement and then moved our make-shift family room down there, put No.1 in the old make-shift family room, and gave No.1 No.2's old room. Ever since then, he's not been that great about putting himself to sleep.
We've tried loads of methods - the no cry, the cry it out, the keep-him-up-until-he-passes-out. My favorite and what worked with No.1 was the no cry. Just rock them, sing to them, soothe them until they start to fade, then put them down. It worked wonderfully for No.1. No.2? Notsomuch. We reversed the lock on No.2's door and tried the cry it out. He just cried and when he finally passed out, it was after he'd trashed his room and curled up right behind the door. And the keep-him-up-until-he-passes-out is just ridiculous.
The one thing that has always worked was lying him in bed and stroking his hair until he fell asleep. This resulted in a peaceful night's rest, until he woke up and couldn't stroke his own hair to self-soothe himself back to sleep so he'd end up in our bed. So, I started to ween. I moved from his hair to his arm. I'd softly rub his arm until he fell asleep. Several hours later, he'd be in our bed. Finally, I moved to only stroking his hand (he calls is "skach bing-guh's" (scratch fingers)). My goal it to eventually rid him of his dependance on me and all will be right with the night-time world.
For the last couple weeks, I've tried my best to just put No.2 down and walk away. Sometimes I would have to resort to the Super Nanny technique and walk him back to his bed several times, but it was working.
Then tonight, No.2 asked, "Skach bing-guh's?" I said, "No, I have to go work." Then I imediately felt guilty. The "work" I had to do was not pressing. It was actually coming to the computer to type up today's blog post. What would be better? Sitting at my computer for 30-minutes trying to think of something to write about that had an impact on my mothering or to break the rules I've set for myself regarding No.2's bedtime routine and think about my post there?
I bent over his bed, took his fingers in mine, and began to softly brush them with my thumb. His skin is so soft. His little face so cherubic in the light of his Cloud B Turtle star light. His gentle grasp of my finger so tender and sweet. I'm glad I broke my rule. I was able to cherish a moment and make a memory.
Sure, I might have set him back a few days on his road to self-sleep, but it was worth it.
Besides, I got a pretty good blog post out of it all.
So, here's to bending rules.
Here's to tiny fingers.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
We've tried loads of methods - the no cry, the cry it out, the keep-him-up-until-he-passes-out. My favorite and what worked with No.1 was the no cry. Just rock them, sing to them, soothe them until they start to fade, then put them down. It worked wonderfully for No.1. No.2? Notsomuch. We reversed the lock on No.2's door and tried the cry it out. He just cried and when he finally passed out, it was after he'd trashed his room and curled up right behind the door. And the keep-him-up-until-he-passes-out is just ridiculous.
The one thing that has always worked was lying him in bed and stroking his hair until he fell asleep. This resulted in a peaceful night's rest, until he woke up and couldn't stroke his own hair to self-soothe himself back to sleep so he'd end up in our bed. So, I started to ween. I moved from his hair to his arm. I'd softly rub his arm until he fell asleep. Several hours later, he'd be in our bed. Finally, I moved to only stroking his hand (he calls is "skach bing-guh's" (scratch fingers)). My goal it to eventually rid him of his dependance on me and all will be right with the night-time world.
For the last couple weeks, I've tried my best to just put No.2 down and walk away. Sometimes I would have to resort to the Super Nanny technique and walk him back to his bed several times, but it was working.
Then tonight, No.2 asked, "Skach bing-guh's?" I said, "No, I have to go work." Then I imediately felt guilty. The "work" I had to do was not pressing. It was actually coming to the computer to type up today's blog post. What would be better? Sitting at my computer for 30-minutes trying to think of something to write about that had an impact on my mothering or to break the rules I've set for myself regarding No.2's bedtime routine and think about my post there?
I bent over his bed, took his fingers in mine, and began to softly brush them with my thumb. His skin is so soft. His little face so cherubic in the light of his Cloud B Turtle star light. His gentle grasp of my finger so tender and sweet. I'm glad I broke my rule. I was able to cherish a moment and make a memory.
Sure, I might have set him back a few days on his road to self-sleep, but it was worth it.
Besides, I got a pretty good blog post out of it all.
So, here's to bending rules.
Here's to tiny fingers.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
The Day I Remembered to Laugh
Sometimes I go through the day like a robot checking things off my mental lists. Who am I kidding, sometimes? Most-times. I don't stop and smell the roses, or in my home life, stop and truly enjoy my children.
I meet their physical needs all the time, but I fail terribly on their emotional needs more than I'd care to admit. Sometimes, they're robots too.
But today, while I was doing laundry and No.2 was playing on the floor around me, I stopped and watched. This is one funny kid. He has a great imagination for a 2yo and a sense of humor to rival the greatest comedians of the world.
I laughed as he danced with a stuffed animal. I laughed as I saw him crash his trains then say, "Uh-oh! Caoofoow (careful)!" I laughed when I tickled him until a steady stream of drool poured from his lips. I just laughed. And it made me happy. And it made him happy.
So, here's to taking time to laugh.
Here's to gut giggles.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
I meet their physical needs all the time, but I fail terribly on their emotional needs more than I'd care to admit. Sometimes, they're robots too.
But today, while I was doing laundry and No.2 was playing on the floor around me, I stopped and watched. This is one funny kid. He has a great imagination for a 2yo and a sense of humor to rival the greatest comedians of the world.
I laughed as he danced with a stuffed animal. I laughed as I saw him crash his trains then say, "Uh-oh! Caoofoow (careful)!" I laughed when I tickled him until a steady stream of drool poured from his lips. I just laughed. And it made me happy. And it made him happy.
So, here's to taking time to laugh.
Here's to gut giggles.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Friday, November 15, 2013
The Day I Baked
I don't bake a lot. Sure, I love to make bread and pastries and cookies, but we just don't eat it fast enough to really make it worth my time. But today, it was all worth my time.
You see, I received an e-mail from our Stake Relief Society president who informed me of an opportunity to serve: Make cookies for the Blue Star Mothers to ship to the soldiers. So, I invited some friends over to help me bake. I made the dough the night before and had one kind all done (7 1/2 dozen lone ranger cookies) by the time my friends started to show up.
With their help, we were able to bake a full batch of snickerdoodles (I scooped, they rolled) and a load of sugar cookies (I cut, they decorated). It took a little over 2-hours and we were able to make at least 15-dozen cookies. I also had a couple friends drop off cookies they had made. I'd say we easily totaled 30-dozen cookies plus candied popcorn.
I was so glad I was able to bake - with friends - and send everything away (each child did pick one sugar cookie). I am grateful for friends to spend time with. I am grateful for men and women who strengthen our country. I am grateful for the chance to teach my children about service (when No.1 came home he wanted a cookie; I simply told him they were for the soldiers, but he could have the sugar cookie I kept out for him; that was good enough for him).
So, here's to putting my oven to good use.
Here's to serving with friends.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
You see, I received an e-mail from our Stake Relief Society president who informed me of an opportunity to serve: Make cookies for the Blue Star Mothers to ship to the soldiers. So, I invited some friends over to help me bake. I made the dough the night before and had one kind all done (7 1/2 dozen lone ranger cookies) by the time my friends started to show up.
With their help, we were able to bake a full batch of snickerdoodles (I scooped, they rolled) and a load of sugar cookies (I cut, they decorated). It took a little over 2-hours and we were able to make at least 15-dozen cookies. I also had a couple friends drop off cookies they had made. I'd say we easily totaled 30-dozen cookies plus candied popcorn.
I was so glad I was able to bake - with friends - and send everything away (each child did pick one sugar cookie). I am grateful for friends to spend time with. I am grateful for men and women who strengthen our country. I am grateful for the chance to teach my children about service (when No.1 came home he wanted a cookie; I simply told him they were for the soldiers, but he could have the sugar cookie I kept out for him; that was good enough for him).
So, here's to putting my oven to good use.
Here's to serving with friends.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
The Day I Had No Plans
I was so good all year making meal plans, keeping up with the family calendar, just being on top of it all, but at this point I feel so overwhelmed with Thanksgiving, No.1's birthday, Advent, and Christmas planning that I just needed a day of...well...whatever. I needed a break.
So, I slept in a little later. My husband took No.1 to school. And No.2 and I did whatever all day. I don't think I got dressed until it was time to No.1 up from school!
We have a pretty vigorous schedules at times in our house with piano, soccer (thankfully that's over), karate, school, homework, housework, it just never seems to stop. That's why I think today was a good idea. It helped me recharge my battery. I still got laundry done, dinner on the table (well, it was hotdogs - but broiled, not boiled), and my house was tidy and vacuumed, but I didn't feel the pressure to get it all done, I just did what I wanted to. I even wrapped all the Christmas and birthday presents I have so far (hopefully I'll be done with that soon).
So, here's to not following a plan every once in a while.
Here's to going with the flow.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
So, I slept in a little later. My husband took No.1 to school. And No.2 and I did whatever all day. I don't think I got dressed until it was time to No.1 up from school!
We have a pretty vigorous schedules at times in our house with piano, soccer (thankfully that's over), karate, school, homework, housework, it just never seems to stop. That's why I think today was a good idea. It helped me recharge my battery. I still got laundry done, dinner on the table (well, it was hotdogs - but broiled, not boiled), and my house was tidy and vacuumed, but I didn't feel the pressure to get it all done, I just did what I wanted to. I even wrapped all the Christmas and birthday presents I have so far (hopefully I'll be done with that soon).
So, here's to not following a plan every once in a while.
Here's to going with the flow.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
The Day I Took a Drive
No. 2 took hold of my retainer and cracked it within seconds. "Boke, Mama. See? Boke." AHHHHHHH! It literally took maybe 3-seconds! So, today, No.2 and I took a drive to my orthodontist 2 hours away to get a new one made.
I was glad for the time I had to spend with No.2 all alone, just wandering, doing Christmas shopping while waiting for the retainer to be made. I knew he was tired, but he was still a good boy.
Once my retainer was ready, we headed back home. No.2 fell asleep (it was almost 2 hours past his nap time) and I drove in relative silence all the way home.
That peaceful quietness allowed me to think about my boys and what a blessing they are to me. I hear/read/watch stories of tragedy and wonder how I could ever survive if I was to ever lose one of my boys, or, heaven forbid, both. I don't think I'd be able to go on. I feel like all the love I have is in those two sweet boys, and who can live without love? Sure, I have my other family, and I know they'd pull me through, but even in just thinking about it and trying to sympathize with those families who have experienced it, I don't think I could ever be as strong as them.
Sort of a morbid train of thought on my ride home, but it really made me reflect on how special my sons are to me and allowed me to make resolutions to make sure they each know how much I do love them each day and not just by word, but by deed.
So, here's to quite, reflective road trips.
Here's to not loving only by word.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
I was glad for the time I had to spend with No.2 all alone, just wandering, doing Christmas shopping while waiting for the retainer to be made. I knew he was tired, but he was still a good boy.
Once my retainer was ready, we headed back home. No.2 fell asleep (it was almost 2 hours past his nap time) and I drove in relative silence all the way home.
That peaceful quietness allowed me to think about my boys and what a blessing they are to me. I hear/read/watch stories of tragedy and wonder how I could ever survive if I was to ever lose one of my boys, or, heaven forbid, both. I don't think I'd be able to go on. I feel like all the love I have is in those two sweet boys, and who can live without love? Sure, I have my other family, and I know they'd pull me through, but even in just thinking about it and trying to sympathize with those families who have experienced it, I don't think I could ever be as strong as them.
Sort of a morbid train of thought on my ride home, but it really made me reflect on how special my sons are to me and allowed me to make resolutions to make sure they each know how much I do love them each day and not just by word, but by deed.
So, here's to quite, reflective road trips.
Here's to not loving only by word.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
The Day I Stated the Facts
Today I realized that if I just say it as it is, there is less conflict.
For instance: No.1 decided to spit his toothpaste all over the sink. I told him, "You just earned the right to clean my bathroom." He looked at me with complete understanding and without argument.
For another instance: No.2, who has a tendancy to be too self-reliant, climbed on the counter to get a cereal bowl out of the cabinet, got ahold of one of my Pfaltzgraff ceramic bowls, and broke it. "You may not get on the counter." No.2 was sad, but didn't protest.
I found that not only does stating things factually help my children to not throw fits, it helps me, too. I discovered that if I take a breath, say my fact, and not dwell on it, I keep my cool.
So, here's to win-win.
Here's to the facts.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
For instance: No.1 decided to spit his toothpaste all over the sink. I told him, "You just earned the right to clean my bathroom." He looked at me with complete understanding and without argument.
For another instance: No.2, who has a tendancy to be too self-reliant, climbed on the counter to get a cereal bowl out of the cabinet, got ahold of one of my Pfaltzgraff ceramic bowls, and broke it. "You may not get on the counter." No.2 was sad, but didn't protest.
I found that not only does stating things factually help my children to not throw fits, it helps me, too. I discovered that if I take a breath, say my fact, and not dwell on it, I keep my cool.
So, here's to win-win.
Here's to the facts.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Monday, November 11, 2013
The Day I Taught Myself
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| FHE Treat |
Tonight, however, I shared a lesson about a turkey who loses his temper and turns colors: red with anger, purple with passion, green with envy, and so on until he turns white when he learns to control his temper and decides it is he who is in charge of his emotions. I had colored feathers cut out and the boys glued corresponding colors on a turkey cut-out I made as the story was told. The boys, well, lets be real, No.1 seemed to enjoy the lesson, but I think I was the one who learned the most.
I am in control of myself. I might often say, "You're beginning to irritate me" or "You are on my last nerve" or "You are going to make me lose my temper," but it's ME and only ME who can decide whether to lose it or not. After that lesson, I pray that I can be a good example of showing responsibility for my own temper and keep it in check.
So, here's to taking my own medicine.
Here's to being humbled.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
The Day I Felt Myself Slipping
I probably stayed up way too late last night, but I am old enough to control my temper, but I felt it slipping away from me today.
I hate getting frustrated before going to church. It really makes it hard to feel the Spirit. So, as I felt my blood begin to boil because No.1 and No.2 were not cooperating, I took a breath and calmed down. That was good.
Later, though, after church it seemed as though my boiling point dropped and the slightest thing turned me into a yelling, impatient mother. I didn't scream or throw a fit at any time, but I still felt a bit out of control. I felt myself slipping back.
I'm planning on an earlier bedtime tonight.
So, here's to starting fresh, again.
Here's to stepping forward.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
I hate getting frustrated before going to church. It really makes it hard to feel the Spirit. So, as I felt my blood begin to boil because No.1 and No.2 were not cooperating, I took a breath and calmed down. That was good.
Later, though, after church it seemed as though my boiling point dropped and the slightest thing turned me into a yelling, impatient mother. I didn't scream or throw a fit at any time, but I still felt a bit out of control. I felt myself slipping back.
I'm planning on an earlier bedtime tonight.
So, here's to starting fresh, again.
Here's to stepping forward.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
The Day I Will Remember
I have to give a talk tomorrow in church on "Deepening your Conversion". I am referencing a conference talk given by Oscarson (Gen. YW Pres) and a couple other talks and quotes, but I wanted to share my mom's conversion story, so I called her to make sure I had it straight.
Three years after her father passed away, my mom and her mom and little brother moved from Montana to Seattle. An LDS family helped them move and they introduced my mom to some girls who were also LDS. My mom came from a good Catholic home, but when invited to mutual by these girls, my mom said yes. She was 15-years old.
My mom continued to attend mutual. She went to girls camp. She participated in what is now Personal Progress and qualified for all the awards. She went on temple to trips from Seattle to Oakland, CA even though she was not able to go inside. She even saved her money all summer and paid for a year of 5am early-morning seminary (you use to have to pay for seminary). She said that that year in seminary was her most successful school year; she had the best grades ever. My grandma would not allow her to attend another year of waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-church-school-before-school classes, so my mom gave the money she saved to another student who could not afford it. Still, my grandma would not allow her to be baptized.
My mom turned 18 on December 22, 1969. 7 days later she was baptized. Her mother would not attend the baptism.
I asked if there was a turning point, a time when she really had confirmation that this gospel was true. She said one night she was reading the Book of Mormon, she hadn't even gotten to Moroni's promise, about when Alma was crying, "Oh, that I were an angel." She stopped and thought, "Is this real? Did this really happen? Or is this just a good story?" She prayed to Heavenly Father and asked him those questions. She said that she was immediately filled with the Holy Ghost and felt a peace and love that she had never before felt. It was then that she knew this gospel was more than mutual and girls camp, this gospel was true.
Although she didn't know it, I was in tears as she shared her conversion story with me. I love to hear my mom bare her testimony. It strengthens mine. I think that if she could do what she did without any familial support, I can do great things too.
We said our goodbyes and I finished writing my talk. It is now as I reflect on our conversation that I want to be able to tell my children my conversion story. Sure, I was born into the church, but I want to tell them the moment I knew it was all true. I do have a story. It's not as great as my mom's, but I do have one nonetheless. I want to share my testimony with my children. I want my testimony to strengthen theirs. And I want their conversion stories to be shared with their children one day.
So, here's to testimony.
Here's to sharing it.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Three years after her father passed away, my mom and her mom and little brother moved from Montana to Seattle. An LDS family helped them move and they introduced my mom to some girls who were also LDS. My mom came from a good Catholic home, but when invited to mutual by these girls, my mom said yes. She was 15-years old.
My mom continued to attend mutual. She went to girls camp. She participated in what is now Personal Progress and qualified for all the awards. She went on temple to trips from Seattle to Oakland, CA even though she was not able to go inside. She even saved her money all summer and paid for a year of 5am early-morning seminary (you use to have to pay for seminary). She said that that year in seminary was her most successful school year; she had the best grades ever. My grandma would not allow her to attend another year of waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-church-school-before-school classes, so my mom gave the money she saved to another student who could not afford it. Still, my grandma would not allow her to be baptized.
My mom turned 18 on December 22, 1969. 7 days later she was baptized. Her mother would not attend the baptism.
I asked if there was a turning point, a time when she really had confirmation that this gospel was true. She said one night she was reading the Book of Mormon, she hadn't even gotten to Moroni's promise, about when Alma was crying, "Oh, that I were an angel." She stopped and thought, "Is this real? Did this really happen? Or is this just a good story?" She prayed to Heavenly Father and asked him those questions. She said that she was immediately filled with the Holy Ghost and felt a peace and love that she had never before felt. It was then that she knew this gospel was more than mutual and girls camp, this gospel was true.
Although she didn't know it, I was in tears as she shared her conversion story with me. I love to hear my mom bare her testimony. It strengthens mine. I think that if she could do what she did without any familial support, I can do great things too.
We said our goodbyes and I finished writing my talk. It is now as I reflect on our conversation that I want to be able to tell my children my conversion story. Sure, I was born into the church, but I want to tell them the moment I knew it was all true. I do have a story. It's not as great as my mom's, but I do have one nonetheless. I want to share my testimony with my children. I want my testimony to strengthen theirs. And I want their conversion stories to be shared with their children one day.
So, here's to testimony.
Here's to sharing it.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Friday, November 8, 2013
The Day I Played Catch-Up
After dropping No.1 off at school (he was finally over the stomach flu that started Saturday night), I came home, made No.2 breakfast, cleaned up breakfast, set him up to play, and headed to the office to go through pictures and organize thoughts about them for the last month. I scrapbook and blog and I do it because a) I like it and 1) I want my children to have something from their lives and our own personal family history to share with their families one day.
It took me nearly 3 hours. But it's done. And I feel a bit of relief. (I don't like getting behind, I stress about it, then it takes even longer to get caught up.)
So, here's to keeping memories.
Here's to reflections.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
It took me nearly 3 hours. But it's done. And I feel a bit of relief. (I don't like getting behind, I stress about it, then it takes even longer to get caught up.)
So, here's to keeping memories.
Here's to reflections.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
The Day I Kept Going
This morning I awoke with an unwanted companion: a headache. I hate waking up with a headache, it really ruins your whole day.
I schluffed around for about 2 hours, meeting only the basic needs of my children (ie. I gave them food, who cares if they're dressed or not) until I decided that this was ridiculous. I didn't want to take medicine because I felt nauseous already (at first I thought No.1 had shared his virus, but now I think it's my new fish oils from Target), so I decided to do something to take my mind off of the pain in my brain.
I got the boys dressed and we went outside. No.1 had been spending entirely too much time on Minecraft since being home sick (he goes back to school tomorrow) and No.2 was antsy (what's new) and I needed some fresh air. As I mowed the lawn, I watched the boys play together. They are such good boys and get along well for the most part.
I'm glad that I didn't just mope in bed all day. I know people who do/would. I'm glad I have the willpower to get up and go even when I feel like crud. I am so grateful for good boys who seem to sense when I'm not feeling so hot and automatically turn on their best behavior.
So, here's to mind over matter.
Here's to intuitive children.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
I schluffed around for about 2 hours, meeting only the basic needs of my children (ie. I gave them food, who cares if they're dressed or not) until I decided that this was ridiculous. I didn't want to take medicine because I felt nauseous already (at first I thought No.1 had shared his virus, but now I think it's my new fish oils from Target), so I decided to do something to take my mind off of the pain in my brain.
I got the boys dressed and we went outside. No.1 had been spending entirely too much time on Minecraft since being home sick (he goes back to school tomorrow) and No.2 was antsy (what's new) and I needed some fresh air. As I mowed the lawn, I watched the boys play together. They are such good boys and get along well for the most part.
I'm glad that I didn't just mope in bed all day. I know people who do/would. I'm glad I have the willpower to get up and go even when I feel like crud. I am so grateful for good boys who seem to sense when I'm not feeling so hot and automatically turn on their best behavior.
So, here's to mind over matter.
Here's to intuitive children.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
The Day I Thought I Was Done
There are two chores I hate above all others: putting dishes away and putting laundry away. I actually enjoy washing dishes (our dishwasher has been broken for over a year) and even folding clothes. I just hate putting them away. One day I timed it and it only took 3 minutes to put my laundry away, so I don't know why I hate it so much. I just do.
With that said, you can imagine my joy as I washed and put away my last dish today and caught up on all my laundry. Ahhh. I can finally rest.
Oh, wait. We still had meals to eat and clothes we were wearing. My dishes and laundry will never be done. For the rest of my life, I will always have dishes to wash and clothes to launder. My work will never be done.
It's not just dishes and laundry that will never be done. I will forever be a mother. That is a job that will never end. And, unlike putting away bowls and pants, I'm thrilled about that. I sometimes try to imagine my boys all grown up. I can't. I really can't. I don't know why. I can see myself in 10 years (probably because I've looked the same since I was 2), but I have no idea what my boys will look like. I try to imagine their personalities and mannerisms. But I can't. They change so much there's no telling what they will be like. I can hope they will be happy, polite, courteous, patient, academic, athletic, self-motivated, confident, and all the other things parents hope for their children, but I can't say for sure how they will be. I just hope that they turn out they way they were meant to. Each boy has his own individual eternal purpose here on earth and I pray that as I do my work, I can help them reach their potential.
I see my mother-in-law still parenting her son (not in a weird over-protective-smothering-must-see-Dr.-Phil kind of way, but in a completely-appropriate-caring-advice-giving-when-asked sort of way). She is a good example to me of how a mother's work is never done. I can see (and have recently) her get frustrated with some of the decisions her children make, just like I do with my little men. I see her teach her children by example even now, just like I do with my guys. I see her offer council when needed, just as I do now.
Even though I cannot imagine my boys all grown-up, I am looking forward to those days, but please don't get here too soon.
So, here's to motherhood.
Here's to working from son up to son down.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
With that said, you can imagine my joy as I washed and put away my last dish today and caught up on all my laundry. Ahhh. I can finally rest.
Oh, wait. We still had meals to eat and clothes we were wearing. My dishes and laundry will never be done. For the rest of my life, I will always have dishes to wash and clothes to launder. My work will never be done.
It's not just dishes and laundry that will never be done. I will forever be a mother. That is a job that will never end. And, unlike putting away bowls and pants, I'm thrilled about that. I sometimes try to imagine my boys all grown up. I can't. I really can't. I don't know why. I can see myself in 10 years (probably because I've looked the same since I was 2), but I have no idea what my boys will look like. I try to imagine their personalities and mannerisms. But I can't. They change so much there's no telling what they will be like. I can hope they will be happy, polite, courteous, patient, academic, athletic, self-motivated, confident, and all the other things parents hope for their children, but I can't say for sure how they will be. I just hope that they turn out they way they were meant to. Each boy has his own individual eternal purpose here on earth and I pray that as I do my work, I can help them reach their potential.
I see my mother-in-law still parenting her son (not in a weird over-protective-smothering-must-see-Dr.-Phil kind of way, but in a completely-appropriate-caring-advice-giving-when-asked sort of way). She is a good example to me of how a mother's work is never done. I can see (and have recently) her get frustrated with some of the decisions her children make, just like I do with my little men. I see her teach her children by example even now, just like I do with my guys. I see her offer council when needed, just as I do now.
Even though I cannot imagine my boys all grown-up, I am looking forward to those days, but please don't get here too soon.
So, here's to motherhood.
Here's to working from son up to son down.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
The Day I Spent More Than I Planned
Today was election day so the schools were closed to be used as poling places. I had planned a month ago to take the boys on an outing to DC today, but then the government shut down, but then it re-opened, but then No.1 got sick, but then No.1 felt better, so we went!
I had planned on taking the train. I have never been on a train, neither have the boys (with the exception of amusement park trains and the subway). Both boys are enamored by trains (well, No.1 says he's not really into them anymore, but he still plays with Thomas), so I thought it would be a special treat.
We walked up to the platform and I purchases a two ride ticket from the machine, activating one ride immediately. There was a couple on the far side of the track and a single lady on our side. I asked the lady if she was familiar with the system. She wasn't. So, I called the train people on my cell (there are no workers at the train station, everything is electronic) to ask what side of the track I had to be on to go to DC. The lady asked when I was planning on traveling.
"Um, right now."
"Oh, well, we stopped running our trains at 7:40."
"Well, the website said there are still two more trains. One at 8:40 and one at 9:02."
"Those are Amtrak trains we have a deal with for later commuters, but you have to have a 10-trip pass then upgrade a $3.00 ticket to ride Amtrak."
"But I just purchased a two-ride pass and activated it."
"You can get that refunded. But you might have to purchase a ticket for your children. They can ride our trains for free under 10, but Amtrak charges for 2 and older."
(In tears now) "So, I'd have to purchase Amtrak tickets for my boys? They can't ride with one of your tickets and the $3 upgrade?"
"I don't know what Amtrak's rules are regarding that, but I think you'll have to purchase tickets."
"Ok, well, thanks."
I was so upset. I had planned this for, like I said, a month. I researched it. I talked to someone on the phone about the train runs. I had packed a daypack. I was ready. The boys were excited. And now my plan was falling apart all because the train's website said nothing about partnering with Amtrak during those runs (or at least it is unclear because I still can't find reference to such).
I couldn't just go home. So, I put my $22.20 2-ride pass in my wallet, pulled out my card, and purchased a $101 10-ride pass. I figured it was good for a year and we'd most likely go again. I had planned on taking the train because it would be cheaper than driving half way up, parking in a garage, and buying subway passes. It turned out to cost way more. But some things are worth it. Oh, and it turned out I didn't need to buy tickets for the boys or even upgrades for them (another more traveled passenger came to my aid with that info).
I could have just gone home and we could have taken the trip another day, but I really felt like today was the day to do it. Turned out to be perfect.
We pulled into Union Station and our DC adventure began. The Postal Museum was right there by the station and the boys had fun learning about the Pony Express, train mail cars, the Inverted Jenny, and creating their own stamps. We walked to lunch at a great Mexican place a gentleman on the train recommended. Then we headed to The Mall and hit up the Native American museum (they have a great kids section, too bad the igloo building was closed) then the American History museum. We walked through the sculpture garden and bought No.1 a Washington DC Minecraft shirt from a street vender then headed home (on the commuter train, this time).
Sometimes plans don't go as planned, sometimes we end up spending more than we planned, sometimes it's all worth it.
So, here's to changing plans.
Here's to fun times.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
I had planned on taking the train. I have never been on a train, neither have the boys (with the exception of amusement park trains and the subway). Both boys are enamored by trains (well, No.1 says he's not really into them anymore, but he still plays with Thomas), so I thought it would be a special treat.
We walked up to the platform and I purchases a two ride ticket from the machine, activating one ride immediately. There was a couple on the far side of the track and a single lady on our side. I asked the lady if she was familiar with the system. She wasn't. So, I called the train people on my cell (there are no workers at the train station, everything is electronic) to ask what side of the track I had to be on to go to DC. The lady asked when I was planning on traveling.
"Um, right now."
"Oh, well, we stopped running our trains at 7:40."
"Well, the website said there are still two more trains. One at 8:40 and one at 9:02."
"Those are Amtrak trains we have a deal with for later commuters, but you have to have a 10-trip pass then upgrade a $3.00 ticket to ride Amtrak."
"But I just purchased a two-ride pass and activated it."
"You can get that refunded. But you might have to purchase a ticket for your children. They can ride our trains for free under 10, but Amtrak charges for 2 and older."
(In tears now) "So, I'd have to purchase Amtrak tickets for my boys? They can't ride with one of your tickets and the $3 upgrade?"
"I don't know what Amtrak's rules are regarding that, but I think you'll have to purchase tickets."
"Ok, well, thanks."
I was so upset. I had planned this for, like I said, a month. I researched it. I talked to someone on the phone about the train runs. I had packed a daypack. I was ready. The boys were excited. And now my plan was falling apart all because the train's website said nothing about partnering with Amtrak during those runs (or at least it is unclear because I still can't find reference to such).
I couldn't just go home. So, I put my $22.20 2-ride pass in my wallet, pulled out my card, and purchased a $101 10-ride pass. I figured it was good for a year and we'd most likely go again. I had planned on taking the train because it would be cheaper than driving half way up, parking in a garage, and buying subway passes. It turned out to cost way more. But some things are worth it. Oh, and it turned out I didn't need to buy tickets for the boys or even upgrades for them (another more traveled passenger came to my aid with that info).
I could have just gone home and we could have taken the trip another day, but I really felt like today was the day to do it. Turned out to be perfect.
We pulled into Union Station and our DC adventure began. The Postal Museum was right there by the station and the boys had fun learning about the Pony Express, train mail cars, the Inverted Jenny, and creating their own stamps. We walked to lunch at a great Mexican place a gentleman on the train recommended. Then we headed to The Mall and hit up the Native American museum (they have a great kids section, too bad the igloo building was closed) then the American History museum. We walked through the sculpture garden and bought No.1 a Washington DC Minecraft shirt from a street vender then headed home (on the commuter train, this time).
Sometimes plans don't go as planned, sometimes we end up spending more than we planned, sometimes it's all worth it.
So, here's to changing plans.
Here's to fun times.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Monday, November 4, 2013
The Day I Sacrificed My Fingers
Well, it should really be The Night I..., but I have a theme going on here, so we'll just go with it.
Anyway, tonight I threaded a hooked needle and went to town sewing together parts of a Sonic the Hedgehog I crocheted for No.1's birthday next month.
Holy Cow! I never knew you could get nerve damage from stitching. My fingers were either numb or tingling by the time I was done. But, it'll all be worth it.
When I made a train for No.2, No.1 asked when I was going to make him something (let it be known that I have in the past crocheted a blanket and two Minecraft characters for him). I get it, though. He can see the time I put in to my creations and he wants to feel like he's worth some of that time. I hope he's thrilled.
So, here's to little surprises.
Here's to lots of time.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
The Day I Didn't Go to Church
Last night I had every intention of going to church, but then No.1 vomitted.
I am usually the kind of person who goes to church no matter what. No.1 was born on Monday and I was back to church that Sunday. I've gone to church with a migraine because I had a duty to fulfill. I've left my husband at home with a sick child because I had a meeting to attend. As I write this, I can see how screwey it looks but it worked...for me.
Well, today, I changed that. It wasn't about me. No.1 was sick and would need me. Daddy just wouldn't do. So, I ran to church early to drop some stuff off, talk to some people about a meeting, and went back home.
No.1 sort of loafed around all day playing Minecraft and spending some time on the pot. Turned out he didn't really need me to help him wipe his bum or cool his forehead, he just needed me to be there. He needed me to ask how his tummy was feeling. He needed me to look at his creations he'd built in the game. He needed to hear me pray for him. He needed me. Period.
I am glad that I made the decision to put my church duties aside. Family should always come first.
So, here's to making family the priority.
Here's to being there.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
The Day I Was So Happy It Was Over
Soccer is done!!!! Hooray!!!!!!!
Today was the last game of the season and no one could have been happier than me, except maybe No.1. We now have our Tuesdays and Saturdays back which means more family time, more play time for No.1, more gas in our car.
As I was reflecting on our week, I really noticed that No.1's schedule has more schedule than not and 6-year olds need some free time to just play and explore. Well, tonight I think he really felt the weight of his rather rigorous schedule lighten. He played Legos, he ran around outside, he made paper airplanes. He just seemed more free. And I loved watching him do whatever. He was being a kid. It was refreshing.
Sometimes I make No.1 do things just because I know that it is good for him (clean his room, gather trash, practice piano), and sometimes I make him do things just because I want him to try it out (eat kale, play a new game, practice piano), and sometimes I make him do things because I sort of hope to live vicariously through him (take dance, join gymnastics, practice piano - oh, wait I did that). Of course, I don't truly want to live vicariously through my child, I'm not a crazy stage mom (dance was really a movement class and the only thing in town offered to tots, gymnastics was because he is a crazy climber and has no fear), but I do sometimes have him do things because I want him to do them. Still, I need to evaluate every activity I have him involved in and only keep him going if it really is what is best for him.
I don't know that he'll be involved in a team sport in the spring, but he will start swim team at the beginning of summer (he's taken lessons since 2, but needs something to push his development in the water - oh, and he actually loves swimming; it's like play). I am happy he played soccer. He learned a lot about being a member of a team, but I'm ok if he never wants to step on a soccer field again :).
So, here's to no more soccer.
Here's to giving things a try.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Today was the last game of the season and no one could have been happier than me, except maybe No.1. We now have our Tuesdays and Saturdays back which means more family time, more play time for No.1, more gas in our car.
As I was reflecting on our week, I really noticed that No.1's schedule has more schedule than not and 6-year olds need some free time to just play and explore. Well, tonight I think he really felt the weight of his rather rigorous schedule lighten. He played Legos, he ran around outside, he made paper airplanes. He just seemed more free. And I loved watching him do whatever. He was being a kid. It was refreshing.
Sometimes I make No.1 do things just because I know that it is good for him (clean his room, gather trash, practice piano), and sometimes I make him do things just because I want him to try it out (eat kale, play a new game, practice piano), and sometimes I make him do things because I sort of hope to live vicariously through him (take dance, join gymnastics, practice piano - oh, wait I did that). Of course, I don't truly want to live vicariously through my child, I'm not a crazy stage mom (dance was really a movement class and the only thing in town offered to tots, gymnastics was because he is a crazy climber and has no fear), but I do sometimes have him do things because I want him to do them. Still, I need to evaluate every activity I have him involved in and only keep him going if it really is what is best for him.
I don't know that he'll be involved in a team sport in the spring, but he will start swim team at the beginning of summer (he's taken lessons since 2, but needs something to push his development in the water - oh, and he actually loves swimming; it's like play). I am happy he played soccer. He learned a lot about being a member of a team, but I'm ok if he never wants to step on a soccer field again :).
So, here's to no more soccer.
Here's to giving things a try.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
Friday, November 1, 2013
The Day I Was On Call
This morning at 3:58am the cell phone rang. I always get anxious
when someone calls so early (or late). In the 2.352 seconds it takes to
answer the phone, about 26 "worse case scenarios" rush through my
mind. Luckily, this call was a happy call: my neighbor was in labor
and her girls (2 and 4) were coming over. By 4:10am the dad and midwife
had delivered the girls to my basement futon and went back home to help deliver a new baby boy.
This mother is such a wonderful example to me and I felt so blessed to help out during such a beautiful time. As I have become friends with this mother down the street over the last year (almost exactly), I have marveled at her parenting skills. She is so calm and patient. At first she seems like a bit of an introvert, but is really full of life and love. She is extremely talented and enjoys sharing her gifts with others. You can just feel the love she has for her husband and children and can't help but be happy and peaceful when you are around her.
It is partially because of this mother that I have really started to examine my own parenting on a daily basis. I am so grateful for the opportunity to do better each day. I am grateful for good examples of women around me.
So, here's to new days.
Here's to new and old friends.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
This mother is such a wonderful example to me and I felt so blessed to help out during such a beautiful time. As I have become friends with this mother down the street over the last year (almost exactly), I have marveled at her parenting skills. She is so calm and patient. At first she seems like a bit of an introvert, but is really full of life and love. She is extremely talented and enjoys sharing her gifts with others. You can just feel the love she has for her husband and children and can't help but be happy and peaceful when you are around her.
It is partially because of this mother that I have really started to examine my own parenting on a daily basis. I am so grateful for the opportunity to do better each day. I am grateful for good examples of women around me.
So, here's to new days.
Here's to new and old friends.
And here's to a Better Mommy Me.
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