The Day I Sent Out the Old

This blog has been about my personal mission and journey to improve myself as a parent.  I have read books (one I never finished and didn't mention because it was, well, lame), I have watched good and bad  not-for-me examples of parenting, I have talked with friends and received advise.  I have enjoyed my little stint here these last few months, but as I enter a new year, I am throwing out the old and welcoming in the new with a new focus and a new drive.

This year I want to do what I saw recommended on a website.  Each day a lady took a picture of something she was grateful for and wrote a short journal entry.  That is what I wish to do now.  We'll see if I can keep it up.  Who knows.  But I wish to have a similar experience as she did.  She said that only 10 days in to her gratitude experiment she realized that there were amazing things she would have missed if she hadn't thought to be looking for things.  This helped her feel like a better wife.  My hope is that I not only feel like a better and more appreciative wife, but a better mother as well.

So, here's to new resolutions.

Here's to new plans.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Made It to 16

Mr. and I appear to most people as complete and total opposites.  And, you may, in this case, judge a book by the cover.  I don't know why it works or even how it works, but it's worked for 16 years, so something must be right about our opposites.

We've had some pretty rough times in those 16 years, the roughest and toughest was not living at my in-laws while we finished school, Mr. surviving a catastrophic car crash, or my temper (ongoing), but my inability to conceive like 93-97% of all other women.  I guess that saying about things not killing you making you stronger really held true in our marriage.

We are not a perfect couple.  We are not perfect parents.  But we can admit both facts about ourselves and each other.  We can maturely discuss how we can become better and, for the most part, we try to make those improvements.  We have a common sense to parenting in that if Daddy says no, so does Mommy.  It is behind closed doors that we challenge the action if one feels that is was not right or fair.

I guess that you could say that although we are night and day, we have each other's backs.  And if we can stick with that, I'm sure we can make it another 16.

So, here's to consistency.

Here's to love.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Had a Clean Pew

Mr. and I took separate cars to church today because he (for once) had an early morning meeting and I didn't (wooohooooo!).  It was pouring when the boys and I arrived so we quickly left the car and ran into the building leaving the boy's "church bags" in the car.

I thought about it for a split second and within that same split second I thought, "let's see how they do."

They did great!

I know when I grew up we had paper, pencil, the Friend, and maybe a book or two.  As I look around our chapel each Sunday I see dolls, cars, food, crafts, TABLETS! (don't get me started), and other things in addition to the lone and unused paper, pencil, Friend, and book(s).

I realize each family has their own method to keeping their children quiet and I'm fine with that (except playing games on the tablets - come one people!, oh, wait, I'm not getting started on that......ahem), and I also realize that too often I'm entertaining my children during sacrament meeting instead of teaching them how to listen and think about the talks and the sacrament itself.

I think we might "accidentally" leave the church bags in the car again next week.  Today might have been a fluke, but, then again, it might not have been.

So, here's to greater respect for the chapel.

Here's to greater reverence.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Regretted Vegging

Sure, it feels good while you're doing it, but when you have to clean up the next day....not so much.  I don't regret yesterday, but I just need to remind myself that that work plus more will be waiting the me, and not grumble along the way.

So, here's to vegging in moderation.

Here's to making up for lost time.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Vegged

What did I do today?  Absolutely nothing! (but the essentials).  Our suitcase is still packed, our kitchen is still littered with the aftermath of Christmas, we pretty much stayed in our pj's all day.  And do you know what?  I didn't care.

Sometimes it's nice to just lounge with the boys after a busy couple of days.  Everyone was fed, everyone played with their new Christmas gifts, and everyone took a nap.  Oh, wait, just No.2 :)

So, here's to taking it easy.

Here's to chill-azin'.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Received a Part of Omi

Our dear Omi passed away a couple weeks ago.  She was one crazy but pretty awesome German grandmother.  She was Mr.'s last living grandparent.  Opi passed in August (leukemia), and now Omi has joined him in the Spirit World  (Mr. jokes that he's sure Omi will make it, but he's not too sure about Opi.)

Today, my mother-in-law pulled out some of Omi's jewelry she got when she and my father-in-law went out to UT for Opi's funeral.  MIL had each of her 4 daughters (2 biological, 2 marriage) pick 2 items of jewelry to have for their own.

Because I'm married to the oldest son and not a biological child, I chose 3rd.  Omi wore some pretty, but "old lady" jewelry, but there was one ring that I would wear.  So, I chose that.  It is beautiful (needs a deep, deep cleaning and resizing - Omi was 5-foot nothing, if that) and I feel blessed to have a piece of her.  I had to tend to No.2, so Mr. chose some earrings on round 2 for me.  They are pretty and maybe one day I'll be able to pass them on to one of my daughters.

It's not important that this jewelry is expensive or even nice, although they are.  It is important that we keep memories and special things of our ancestors and continue to make family ties.

So, here's to keeping memories.

Here's to Omi.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Nearly Missed Christmas

Today is Christmas, and, no, I didn't really miss it, but I did miss the spirit of this blessed holiday, and there's no one to blame but myself.

We traveled to Mr.'s parents yesterday so we could spend Christmas day with all Mr.'s family for one final Christmas in the house they all grew up in.  I'm glad we were able to be together.  It was nice to watch everyone open gifts (especially No.2's Rescue Station and No.1's tablet), but it wasn't until the prayer at dinner when the giver of grace mentioned Christ that I realized that I had not stopped to think about or discuss with my children the key player:  Jesus Christ.

I felt guilty for being so wrapped up in the gift giving and receiving and not focusing on Christ.  That is where the focus should always be 365 days of the year, but I had failed on one of the most important days.

So, here's to focusing on what really matters.

Here's to loving Christ more than a dehydrator (thanks Nana).

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Pictured it Going Perfectly

So, the boys woke up at different times this morning.  No.1 was anxious to go downstairs and open gifts, but I had him wait until after our traditional apple fritter's Christmas breakfast.  And by the time that was done and cleaned-up, No.1 had calmed down a bit and we were ready to go to the basement.

No.1 asked Santa for a red bike that is big enough for him but bigger than the bike he has now with back pedal breaks.  Well, guess what?  Santa found one a Walmart a few weeks ago and stored it at a friends house the put it by the tree last night.  No.1 was rather impressed.

No.2 came down the stairs saying "Mehwee Kissmas" over and over.  It was adorable.  He saw his new balance bike and then glanced around the room and saw the train table!  "Oh!  Dats Cool!" and he ran right over and began to play.  It took several tries to get him to come back to the tree to open gifts.

So far, so good.

Mr. handed out gifts and both children opened theirs one at a time.  Thank yous were exchanged, hugs and kisses given, wrapping paper tossed.  Then it was time for what I thought was the coolest gift for No.1.  I had been searching for just the right Minecraft t-shirt for months and finally scored one (two, really, as I ordered S and M just in case) on Cyber Monday.  It is not your typical Creeper or Minecraft man shirt.  It's a silhouette of a boys head and inside the brain area are Minecraft blocks.  So, unless you know Minecraft, you won't get the shirt.  No.1 had been so excited to get a DC Minecraft shirt the last time we were up there (just a cheap tourist shirt), so I thought this was a perfect gift.  I threw in a couple pairs of pants, too, just because he needs them.

I handed No.1 the box.  Immediately his face fell.  "I know what this is," he mumbled.  "It's clothes."  Dejectedly he opened the package, saw the pants and folded shirt (you could not see the image) and tossed the box to the side.  It was like I had offended him or something.

I was upset.  No, I was mad that my child could be so rude and not show any gratitude for this gift and that he didn't even look at the shirt.  Maybe his reaction wasn't that severe, maybe it was just the Clomid (it really screws with my hormones), but, for me, my perfect Christmas morning was ruined.  Nothing else mattered.  I had an ingrate for a child.

Then, as steam was spewing forth from my ears, Mr., seeing (and hearing) my disappointment in my son's actions, unfolded the shirt and showed it to No.1.  It was then that No.1 changed his views on clothing as a gift.  His face lit up, he apologized for his behavior, and he thanked me for the shirt (the pants, well, I'm sure that's another matter). 

With my perfect Christmas morning restored, I still couldn't help but think about why my child had acted so poorly.  Have I overindulged him over his 7 short years of life?  Have I failed to show gratitude for even the little things?  I'm not sure what the answer is (Mr. says it's just because he's 7 - that might be it), but I want to figure out some ways to teach my boys gratitude so that even socks will bring forth a hearty "thank you!"

So, here's to blessed, dear 7-year olds.

Here's to the perfect gift (well received or not).

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Prepped

Tomorrow will be our families Christmas.  I am so excited about some of the gifts we got the boys and am anxious to see their faces when they see them.

After the boys were put to bed, Mr. and I stayed up a few more hours just to make sure they were truly sound asleep then we sneaked down to the basement and started preparing for the morning.

I set up the train table, Mr. set up the bikes.  I placed gifts under the tree, Mr. sorted gifts.  We looked at the piles and thought about the thrill tomorrow morning will bring.

So, here's to a Merry Christmas.

Here's to gratitude.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Called and Called and Called

Today is my mom's birthday.  She's a pretty awesome lady.  I called in the morning to wish her a happy birthday.  No answer.  So I tried her cell later on.  No answer.  Finally, I tried her home line again this afternoon.  No answer.  So the boys and I sang "Happy Birthday" to her onto her answering machine.  That'd have to do.

The boys and I made a cd for her.  I played and sang "O, that I were and Angel" (the verse she read when she finally prayed about the truthfulness of the gospel), and put two other songs on that I played, then No.1 played one of his piano numbers, then No.2 played the piano.  I hope she likes it.  A lot of heart went into it.

I am grateful for my mom and her example of living the gospel.  We all have our issues (you may remember from my first post I said I got my temper from her), but when the good outweigh the bad so much, you really see the forest and not just the trees.

So, here's to a Happy Birthday, Mom!

Here's to teaching the importance of a heart-felt gift.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I was Inventive

Sometimes I get these great ideas and think they'll only take a little time to complete then three hours later I'm finally finished.  This morning was one of those times.

Truthfully, I've been thinking about this idea for quite some time, but decided today was the day.  My morning was free, the kitchen was clean, laundry was running, it was time.

I had this idea to make a sling thing for my tablet that would be secured between the driver and passenger seats so the boys could watch movies on long trips.  We use to have a portable DVD player for the car, but No.1 accidentally let the cord hang out of his door one day while driving into town and, well, there was just no fixing it.

Anyway.

I grabbed some plastic table cloth stuff I have stored in a closet, 2 scraps of fabric, some straps I'd cut off something a while ago, Velcro, the iron, and my sewing machine and went to town.

I am thrilled with how well it turned out and I finished just in time to make lunches.

I'm sure the boys will enjoy it on our next trip to see Nana and Papa.  It'll be another option to fighting over cars and coloring books.

So, here's to variety.

Here's to seeing visions through.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.




ps.  We went to Chefs tonight.  Success!

The Day I Couldn't Go

Well, really, it was the day none of us could go.

No.1 had a fun day at school wearing pj's and watching The Grinch (oh, they had a few lessons here and there, too :) ).  After school, because we got home later than usual after dropping off teacher gifts, he pretty much had just a few minutes to play then it was off to karate.

I had planned with Mr. that he and No.2 would pick No.1 and I up from karate and we would go out to "Chef's" (that's what No.1 calls Japanese Steakhouses).  Mr. was also suppose to bring the gifts for the karate instructors.

Class ended and no Mr.

I called.

He said he was trying to print off a coupon, but the printer wasn't working.

That's because there was no yellow ink.

I told him to just come.

I got a printed coupon from the front desk at karate.

Mr. shows  up.

No gifts.

I run home and get them myself.

No.1 delivers gifts.

We head out to town.

5-minutes down the road, Mr. says he doesn't have his wallet.

I don't have my purse (No.1 rode his bike, I walked to karate).

That's it.

We don't go.

It was stressful and late and we were not in the best moods anyway due to the confusion after karate, so we called it.

Probably for the best, too, because we want No.1's birthday dinner out to be great and memorable.

So, here's to calling it when it needs to be called.

Here's to better tomorrows.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Became a Mother of a 7-Year Old

Where has the time gone.  No.1 turned 7 today!  Seven seems like such a big boy number, but when I watch my son, I still see his as little.  He is so fun to be around and talk to.  I hope that our communication stays this great through the teen years and beyond.  He says silly things and acts crazy at times, but he keeps us laughing.  Of course, there are those times when he really knows how to push buttons (that's the gifted brain working there) and it's hard to be patient (and I'm not always), but he always is forgiving of our (my) flaws and shortcomings.

I love this little man so much it makes my heart ache.  When he came into my life, I finally felt what it feels like to know you'd do anything for someone, at any risk.  He is my heart.

So, here's to a great year, No.1 son.

Here's to a fantastic birthday.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Saw

No.1 is not a perfect child and that's ok because he doesn't have a perfect mom, but he's pretty close to being a perfect brother.

Today I saw what a great brother he is.  (Not that this is the first time, but I want to document it this time.)

No.1 has a class Christmas party tomorrow (his birthday), and we are in charge of bringing fruit.  I didn't want to bring just plain apples and grapes, so I thought seasonally and decided to do dehydrated fruit.  I'll get most of it from my current supply, but I wanted to make jello apples and thought No.1 would be a perfect helper.

I was right.  He loved using the apple pealer-corer-slicer thing and was excited to dip the apples in dry jello.  No.2 wanted in on the fun and climbed up on the bar stool.  I was afraid No.1 would tell him no, that he was too little, but instead No.1 gave No.2 a slice of apple and showed him what to do.  It was perfect.

They worked in tandem until the apples were done and it was time to get ready for karate.

I love watching my boys work together.  No.1 is so patient.  So much more patient than me.  I don't know that I deserve him.  I can't imagine that he deserves me.  But I'm not complaining.  I love that boy and his brother, too.

So, here's to watching.

Here's to love in action.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Compared

We, No.2 and I, had a play date today.  At this play date was the lady from whom I found out about that webinar.  We were able to just chat and discuss our opinions (which pretty much matched) and compared notes about the program and general parenting in, well, general.  I was nice to talk parenting with someone who's been there, done that (even though her oldest is younger than mine).  It's nice to know someone else who is constantly trying to do better.

I think I need to have more discussions like those.

So, here's to peer support.

Here's to good friends.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Could Have Slept All Day

All I can say about today is that it was exhausting.  I wanted to sleep, to take a nap so bad, but I knew it would mess up my schedule and, besides, I had things to do.  Last weekend was just go-go-go-go and I think I'm just DONE.

Still, I was a pretty good mom today.  I managed to play with No.2 and read books, get housework done, help No.1 with homework, play War with No.1 (hate that game), make dinner (left over deli meat into French Dip - genius), and get two happy kids to bed on time.

Now, I get to go to sleep.

So, here's to recovery.

Here's to shut eye.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Was Disrespected

I have an issue with children not fessing up.  I get it.  No one wants to get in trouble.  I didn't either when I was a kid.  If only children could understand that it's not about the item broken or whatever, it's that they have enough respect for it's owner that they tell them what happened.

Today was our Advent.  We had, wait let me count them.......49 people in our basement singing carols and waiting to be fed.  The kitchen was set.  Everything was ready to go.  When the singing was over, they all came up and charged the kitchen with full force.  (By the way, so much left over meat!  I told Mr. we had enough to begin with!)  The kids pretty much ate on the kitchen floor and the adults carried conversations and plates around the first floor and basement.

After a while, some kids went out onto the porch to play, but by 8, everyone was on their way home.

As one of our guest left out of the front door, he asked, "What happened to the bike."

I looked down and No.2's balance bike that Mr. and I spent hours and about $15 creating from a $2 used bike was lying on its side, the wheel completely free of any spokes.  It's not replaceable.

We asked a few of the cousins who were outside playing if they new what had happened.  One said he saw 2 girls ram it over and over again with the tricycle.

Now, it's just a bike.  It's not important.  Although No.2 loved it and Mr. and I were proud of our hard work, it's still a bike.  What is important is that when a child damages something, first, they should stop, and second, they need to tell an adult what happened.

The cousin didn't know the girls name, but through descriptions was able to identify one.  Mr. called her dad.  She said she didn't do it and blamed it on the cousin who ratted on her.  I don't know who to believe, and I probably will never know the truth, and that is bothersome.

I wonder if my children are the same way.  I'd like to think that I've taught them to be honest and to respect other people and their things.  I know there have been some times when No.1 has done something wrong and when confronted he tells the truth (I realize kids are not going to volunteer info), but this case tonight just seemed to have been done without conscience.  It's truly troubling.

I'll have to get over this.  Still, I told Mr. I was never hosting anything again (things were broken last year, too, without ever knowing what happened and who did it).  I know the guest I invited are not responsible because their children were never outside, so it must have been someone who belongs to our Advent group.  Makes me sick......and just sad.  Now I can't trust.  Now when children are over, I'll have to lock everything up.  My home will be like an old person's home.  No fun for kids.

But you know what they say:  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.

So, here's to no more shame.

Here's to letting things go.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Cried

We had a pretty successful cookie exchange this morning at my counselors home.  Her mom is visiting and taught us how to make lotion, then we exchanged cookies and went home.  I had an entire tray of assorted cookies for Advent tomorrow.  Score!

No.1's party was awesome!  He wanted to rent the gym (an old elementary school gymnasium where the county P&R practices gymnastics).  It's supper cheap and requires no set-up or take-down, so I booked it in September.  The guest arrived and the kids played until they were red in the face.  We sang "Happy Birthday" and No.1 blew out his candles atop his doughnut pyramid.  They ate doughnuts, Funyons, trail mix, and pretzels and guzzled water.  They played a bit more then gifts were opened, goodie bags handed out, then everyone went home.  Easy 2 hours.

It was pouring when we left the gym.  No.2 soaked his socks and pants in a huge puddle.  But we managed to get to the car with out melting.  My husband was concerned that we wouldn't have enough meat for the deli sandwiches tomorrow, and I needed just a couple more things for the Advent event, so we headed out to Walmart.

No.2 crashed before we hit the main road (nap time is 1-ish, it was now 4:30) so I debated sending my husband into the store alone or not.  It was decided that we would all go in as a family.  We parked the car.  I grabbed No.1 and carried him, running, into the store (remember the rain?) and Daddy gently carried No.2.

My husband went to the deli counter while I shook off the umbrella he had been carrying.  As No.1 and I walked into the store, he noticed the Salvation Army's Angel Tree.  No.1 asked what it was.

"It a paper that gives you the name of a little girl or boy who won't get any Christmas presents unless someone chooses their angel and buys some for them."

"Which one can we get."

Oh my goodness.  The innocence.  The genuine concern that another child wouldn't get any gifts.  The heart that my little man just demonstrated created a huge lump in my throat and I had to breathe deep and say, "Which ever one you want."

As we walked over to join my husband at the deli counter, I blinked back tears that continued to form.  We did our last minute shopping and I sent the Mr. to the front; we'd meet him there.  No.1 and I dashed around the store.

"What does it say she want's?" he asked.

"Hello Kitty, coloring books, and Baby Alive."

"I know!" he exclaimed, "let's get her a Hello Kitty coloring book!"

We found one.

We also found a cute Hello Kitty pj set and summer dress (for summer, of course) and a Baby Alive doll with accessories.

The two of us ran up to the front.  Mr. was already checking out and was just finished with his last item when we added ours for the little (I use the word little lightly as she is a 4yo who wears 6-7 clothes!) girl.

I am so grateful I am in the position to be able to allow No.1 to choose a name off the Angel Tree.  What a blessing it is to have a charitable son.  I hope that the little girl has a fantastic Christmas morning!

So, here's to angels (on the tree and at home).

Here's to compassion.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Started Going Crazy

This weekend is going to be so busy for my family (read: me) that I've just given into the fact that by the end of it all I'm going to need to be admitted.

Today was our recital thingy.  My students ate some snacks, played some songs, and decorated some ornaments (salt dough is so awesome!).  I am really proud of how No.1 performed.  I can tell he's a little nervous, but he trudges on.  It's so cute!

Tomorrow morning is a cookie exchange.  Tomorrow after noon is No.1's birthday party (real birthday not until next week).  Then tomorrow night is our ward Christmas Party.  THEN, Sunday is our night to host Advent!

I have everything organized and ready to go, but, still, it's soo much in sooo little time.  Of course, I planned it this way, otherwise I'd have something every weekend in December, and I just didn't want that.

So, here's to temporary insanity.

Here's to trying to smile through it.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Pushed

Tomorrow is my piano recital thing.  It's not really a recital in that it is not formal, the students are using music, it's at my house, there really isn't a program, but it's more of a "look what I've been working on" get together.  Besides, not all my students could come (there will only be 3).

So, anyway, today while No.1 was practicing he really wasn't putting forth his best effort and I worried that he wouldn't have a number to present.  I asked him if he wanted to play a song he passed off a couple months ago.  He wasn't quite sure and wanted to still do one of his current songs, but after a while he agreed.

I'm glad I pushed for "Andy the Android" for 2 reasons:  #1) it's a song none of the others have heard before, and #2) it's a duet.

I love playing duets it No.1.  He has a very good sense of rhythm and understands the importance of counting.  But it's not just his piano skills that makes me love playing with him - I love sharing one of my loves with my son and seeing him enjoying it as well.

No.1 does not always love practicing, but when he gets a song down, he has a lot of fun playing it (over and over and over and over again - if I never hear "Yankee Doodle" again in my entire life, it'll be too soon).

So, here's to passing on loves (and talents) to my boys.

Here's to being by their side.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Attended a Webinar

I have never attended/participated/viewed (whatever you call it) a webinar, so I had no idea what to expect.  I logged in a few minutes before it was to begin and it was pretty easy peesy from there.

The program was presented by Positive Parenting Solutions and the speaker, Amy, covered one of the many points she teaches in her online training.  Tonight's topic:  Get Kids to Listen without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling.

At first I was not sure I wanted to sit for an hour and listen to stuff I already knew (kids want attention and power - yep, they want to feel like they have control - got it, punishment is not discipline - knew that), but then Amy started to get into a bit more detail.

She explained what makes a consequence effective:  The 5 R's
 - Respectful:  if you can't deal with the problem in a respectful way right then, tell the child you will address it later, walk away, collect yourself, them come back when you can deal with it calmly and respectfully
 - Relative:  "the punishment must fit the crime" so to speak; if the child refuses to wear a helmet, then no bike, not no video games
 - Reasonable:  a small child who throws puzzle pieces should have the puzzle picked up and put away for the day, but a teen who texts at the table should lose cell privileges for a week
 - Reveal:  reveal the consequence in advance so the child had the opportunity to make a choice (giving them power and control)
 - Repeat:  the child should repeat the rule to you, that way you know they know

All of that stuff is pretty common sense and we pretty much do it with No.1 and 2, but it's this next part that I really took home.

If there is an issue, then during a calm time of the day when everyone is in a good mood and no one is flustered, gather everyone together and follow the following script:

 - State the Concern or Problem:  I've noticed we've been having an issue with ______.  It seems like when I ask you to _________, you ___________
 - State the Expected Behavior:  In the future, I expect that ____________.  I'll give you a warning, a heads-up, but it's up to you to make the choice
 - Reveal the Consequences:  I'm sure we won't have an issue with this, but, should you choose to break the rule ___________
 - Ask the Child to Repeat:  Just so we're on the same page, please tell me what our agreement is.

Now, if the child chooses to ignore or disobey the rule, you can simply say something like:  I see you chose to lose your video privileges.  I have confidence you'll make a better choice next time.  This allows the child to learn and save face at the same time.

The second thing I really got out of this webinar was to never "piggyback".  Pickybacking is when you say, "I told you you were going to lose privileges, but you chose to disobey, so don't get mad at me - it was your choice."  When she said that, I could just see myself saying that to my child so many times it's not funny.  I get it.  No more piggybacking.

So, here's to new discipline.

Here's to being anti-piggyback.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Signed Up

My friend posted a link for another friend on facebook about a webinar tomorrow on parenting.  I'm "attending."  Well see how it goes.

So, here's to lectures.

Here's to learning.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Did It Again

You know when you have a bag of Oreo's and you think, "Oh, I'll just have a couple" then 10 "couples" later you're left with an empty Oreo tray, yet the entire time you took just a couple more you thought in your mind, "I really shouldn't be doing this; it's not good for me" but you ignore it because you're not unhealthy (and you're dipping them in healthy milk) and it's fine to indulge from time to time and then you look at that empty bag and feel the sore ridges in your tongue from too many cookies and you wonder if it was all worth it?

Well, that was me.  today.  The sad thing is that it wasn't just the Oreo's.  I stayed up until 2am last night!  What was I thinking.  I was making bow ties for the boys.  I just couldn't find a good stopping point.  And, like that crazy bunny, I just kept going.

However, unlike that crazy bunny, I actually am a human mother with little bunnies to care for the next day.  I did pretty well, though.  I knew I wouldn't have the patience for piano, so we did theory.  I knew I'd need some quiet time (luckily the Mister was home from work - it was a snow day, minus the snow), so I hid in the basement for a bit and crocheted.  I knew I would probably not make dinner and, luckily, we went out to eat after family pictures (bow ties!).

So, here's to preemptive strikes.

Here's to knowing limits.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.





ps:  I went to the chiropractor today.  Feeling really good!  Almost no pain.

The Day I Didn't Go to Church

Our bishop decided due to pending weather we should cancel church.  Personally I think he wanted a day off, ha-ha (the weather was not bad).  But because church was canceled, I had to stop a thought in it's tracks.

No.1, upon hearing that church was canceled got bright eyes.  I quickly looked at him and told him it was weather related and that it wasn't normal to cancel church and that it wasn't an option on ordinary days.

One of my greatest fears is that my children will fall away from the gospel.  I pray that they gain a strong testimony of its truths and live them daily.  It's a hard thing to do when cousins cut out after sacrament meeting or don't attend at all. 

No.1 questions why his cousins aren't at church.  I use to make up excuses because I wanted him to still see them as examples, but now I just tell him the core of it all:  everyone has choices to make and they don't always choose to come to church; we choose to attend and it makes us happy.

I hear stories of parents whose children rebel around the teen years, have sons and daughters who question things and falter, but I have never experienced it.  I have known from a very early age that this gospel brings happiness and joy and peace and it is real and that I wouldn't have it any other way.  It's not like my parents were all "you WILL go to church" and "you WILL read the scriptures", it was just something I've always wanted to do.

I guess all I can do it show my boys the joy that I receive from living the commandments, from repentance, and from knowing the gospel is true, that we have a Savior, that we are an eternal family.

So, here's to good examples.

Here's to blessed testimony.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Answered a Question

Today was SantaLand in town.  The Women's Club in town hosts a little shop where children can come in and shop for little second hand trinkets, meet Santa, color a picture, hear a story, eat a bake-sale treat, and other things.  The lady running the Red Cross blood drive yesterday told me about it and offered me her tickets (she's a member of the club and has to buy 10 tickets - she didn't have 10 people to give them to).

So, I took the boys.  No.2 was not a big Santa fan last year, so I didn't push the issue and we never saw Santa, but they listened to the "Snow Queen" monotonely read The Night Before Christmas and colored some pages.

On our way out I ran into an acquaintance from karate.  She looked at me with a bit of a worried brow and asked how I was doing.  I smiled and said, "I'm terrible.  I'm absolutely terrible."

That is not a typical response.  But I had a purpose in actually answering her question honestly.

This woman works at a chiropractic place in town and I have been having sever burning and shooting pain in my back.  So much so that a couple mornings ago I reached over to my bedside table while lying on my bed and instantly was in tears.  I couldn't even talk.  Luckily, the pain is sporadic and I pretty much know what might set it off (it was pretty scary the other day when I was driving and for about 2 seconds froze up while driving 45mph).  So, I told my friend I was in terrible pain to which she said with a nod, "No wonder you're walking that way."  I asked if she still worked at the office.  She is.  And she suggested I give them a call.

I'm so glad she listened to my answer and helped me out.

I've come to a realization in my life, that if I don't want to or have time to hear the full and honest truth, I just avoid the question.  I've also realized that when I do ask, I need to mean it and be ready to be that listening ear that someone might need.  I want my sons to see that this "How are you - fine" conversation is not, in truth, a conversation.  I want them to learn how to be a good listener, to be helpful, to be a friend.

So, here's to listening.

Here's to answering.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Gave of Myself

I have no issues with needles.

I get pricked aver month-and-a-half or so for TSH levels.  I use to give myself injections for infertility.  I've hosted several blood drives.

Earlier this week the Red Cross telephoned and I said yes.

So, today, I took No.2 and, through pouring rain, made my way to the citizen center to give away some of my red blood cells.

I am so grateful I am healthy and can donate.  I will always donate when I can.  You just never know when someone in your family might need blood.  We can't all be takers.

I am glad No.2 saw me do this.  He might not remember this particular blood drive, but there will be others.  I hope that he, and No.1, will be willing to serve their community in this way and others one day.

So, here's to service.

Here's to giving life.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Was Hooked

I have a crazy mindset sometimes:  I solely focus on one task and go hog-wild until it's done.  I guess it's a good thing when it involves positive things like cleaning the house or helping a friend or something.  But today I was focused on crocheting dishcloths.

I'm give away a lot of dishcloths for gifts this Christmas.  I started making them for my counselors and secretary in Relief Society.  So, I pretty much just sat for about 5 hours today crocheting 3 cloths.  I paused to make No.2 lunch and periodically attach train tracks together, but he pretty much was on his own playing (happily, thankfully) around me as I hooked yarn together.

This drive is not always a good thing.  I know that playing trains with No.2 is more important than a dishrag, I know that reading to No.1 is more important than folding laundry.  I just don't know how to stop sometimes.  I can see an end and so I power through.

I suppose it's good for the boys to see the work that is required to complete a task, and I do hope they will learn that for themselves and take pride in their accomplishments, but I don't want to be remembered as the mom who was always doing.  I need to make my life more rounded.  A time and season for everything.  Right?  I can play trains and crochet later.  I can stop cleaning to read a little story.  I hope that while my sons see me as a mom who gets the job done, that they will also see a mom who cares about their feelings and their time.

So, here's to finding ballance.

Here's to finding time.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Made Snow

I picked up No.1 from school to take him and No.2 to Daddy's work "party" (in quotations because it's really just a bunch of computer geeks eating potluck in theater seating -  whoo-hoo).  Then, when I dropped him back off, his teacher was trying to make an igloo around her door.  She was so excited to see me and asked for my help.  The students were in art, so No.1 went to join them and the teacher and I had our own art class in the hall.  Well, really, I was in the hall and she went into her room to get some work done.

I am so glad I was able to help the teacher out.  I was never a regular ed. teacher (I taught chorus and drama), but even in my position I wished I had parents come in a help more often, especially around crunch time for concerts and productions.  And I was always so grateful for the days I actually did have parent help.

Now that I am an at-home-mom, I have the time to help.  I go in each Monday to help out in the classroom, and this week into next I'll be helping out at the book fair, and then there's days like today when I can just spontaneously make snow in the hall.

So, here's to paying it forward.

Here's to volunteering.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Played

You'd think that with a music degree and teaxhing piano I sit down and play the piano all the time.

nope.

I'm sort of ashamed to admit that, but I can't exactly lie about it.

But today, I played.

I played "O Little Towm of Bethlehem" and it was lovely.

I really do enjoy playing and I hope my boys can see more of that.

I remember listening to my mom play piano at night.  Maybe my boys will have that same memory (honestly, that's hard to create now because No.2 is really hard to keep in bed, but one day...).

So, here's to renewing old loves.

Here's to playing for fun.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Made a Promise

Last year we started a tradition: the 1st FHE of December we present gifts to Christ.  We write our gift down on a notecard, fold it in half, and put all of them in a little gold box with a bow.  The box rests in our tree until we open it Christmas Eve and see if we actually gave our gift.

I think my gift last year was patience.  I'd say I succeeded only about 50% of the time.

This year I'm determined to succeed and I'm ready to do it Wednesday.

My gift this year is to give my friend, Sonya, a Book of Mormon.  She's from Bulgaria and I've had a Bulgarian BOM on my shelf for months.  It's time I gave it to her.  I'm not exactly sure what I'll say, but I know I'll give it to her when she comes to pick her daughter up from piano lessons.

So, here's to courage.

Here's to being an example to my boys.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Learned from My Lesson

I taught Relief Society today.  My lesson was taken from Elder Oaks April conference talk "Followers of Christ".  What a beautiful talk.  I can't say that I really "learned" anything new, but I definitely found myself thinking about it all.

The whole concept of being in the world and not of the world is not new, but I reflected on things I do in my life and how much they are of the world.  I thought about how I can change some of my habits to reflect a life of a more perfect follower of Christ.

I can really apply myself to scripture study.  I can encourage my children to say their personal prayers.  I can help No.1 write a journal.  I can pray more earnestly.  I can put aside my worldly wants for things that will be eternal.

So, here's to renewed conversion.

Here's to following more exactly.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.