The Day I Let Him Have a Go

Happy Halloween!  The boys are pirates this year so I transformed our Radio Flyer into a pirate ship with the help of some brown packing paper, tape, temper paint, a broom, a toddler sheet, pvc piping, and a little 2-year old boy.

No.2, half naked due to a pull-up mishap, wanted so much to help paint the faux wood on the packing paper.  He grabbed the paintbrush, opened a little jar of paint, swished it around inside and put the brush to the paper.  I realized that while I was focusing on what I was painting, he had been watching me and learning.

I never taught No.2 how to open paint, I always just put it on the paint pallet and give him the brush.  I never taught him how to paint with sweeping movement, I was fine with his sloppy squiggles and crushed paintbrush bristles.  Today, he learned how to do those things by watching, so I let him have a try at painting some water on the edge of the boat.

I wonder how much my children have learned from just observing me.  Have they learned to speak kind words or gossip about others.  Have they learned how to cheerfully do what is required of me or grumpily put dishes away.  Have they learned how to help others or tactfully come up with excuses.  Unfortunately, I know they have not learned every wonderful thing from me, but I hope they've picked up a few.

So, here's to taking notice.

Here's to teaching better.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Turned 35

If I were pregnant, which I'm not, but would like to be, I'd be considered "Advanced Maternal Age".  35 isn't old, is it?  Although I do have several greys and my joints are not as spry as they once were (although I can still get both feet pretty close to behind my head), I don't particularly feel old.

I have watched programs on Discovery channels about aged parents.  60-year old women having twins and the like.  Now, that's Advanced Maternal Age!

I guess I don't feel my age because I think that people who are in their mid-30's should have more than just 2 kids or their kids should be in middle school.  Because of this misconception, I oftentimes find myself relating to two completely separate decades of people:  I am friends with 20-somethings because we can talk about our children, and I'm friends with 30/40-somethings because we can relate as individuals.  That's not to say these relationships don't sometimes cross, they most certainly do, I just don't know which group I truly fit in with.

I know it's silly thinking I need to fit in with one or the other.  I know I don't.  But I sometimes feel like the go-between.  I feel like a Jack of all trades, master of none.  I'm sure there are reasons for that, some a psychiatrist wouldn't even be able to draw out of me (detour - I am a pretty normal, non-traumatized person), but if I truly think deeply about it, I guess I like it this way;  I get the best of two worlds.

So, here's to getting two for the price of one.

Here's to another year.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Woke Up Early

It's never easy having house guests - for either party.  As a hostess, you feel the need to always put a smile one so the guest doesn't feel like they're imposing.  As a guest, you never feel completely "at home."  So, having filled both roles during different times in my life, I get it.  It's not easy.

My current guests are not bad tenants.  However, they do get up really early (before 7 is really early for me - I mean look at the time-stamp on most of these posts; early to bed and early to rise-pshaw!).  Today they were up by 6:30 or before using the bathroom, stomping (I don't think on purpose, they're just extremely heavy walkers) up and down the stairs, getting breakfast.  And since my room is right by the stairs, bathroom, and kitchen, it seemed pretty much impossible to fall back asleep.

I slid out of bed and started my day.  I wasn't happy about it (I've become more and more of a non-morning person as I've grown-up), but I did it anyway, and I had a strange experience:  I actually enjoyed it!

Have you ever dreaded going to a get together or meeting but ended up having a really nice time when you finally got there?  That happens to me all the time.  The problem is the "getting there", not the "being there".  So, is it a wonder that I dreaded leaving my bed this morning, but actually was glad I did?

I was able to actually make my bed, wipe off all the counters, wash the dishes, dress No.2, and stress-free-aly get to school.  It was a miracle.

Now, I'm not saying I want to make this a habit, just like I don't make get togethers or meetings habitual, but I'm glad that I was able to get up early today.  Sure, I was tired, but I still functioned and was able to spend time with, not just by, No.1 and No.2.  They talked, I actually listened.  It was like a cereal commercial - really.

So, here's to a few good early mornings.

Here's to the nice inconvenience of guests.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Gave It a Second Chance

Burger King is my absolute least favorite restaurant.  When my husband and I were in college, they changed their fries...for the worse.  I already was not too keen on their over condiment-ed burgers, but this switch did me in.

Well, today, my husband wanted to meet at BK for lunch.  "Yuck!"  I told him, but went anyway.  In the past, since the fry debacle, I have avoided their sandwiches and fries, but today they were advertising their newer fries - crinkle fries.  I was slightly intrigued.  More hungry than intrigued.  But intrigued nonetheless.  I also saw a burger I wouldn't mind trying - the Angry Whopper.

I was a bit apprehensive, but took my first bite of fry.  Huh?  Not too bad.  Not great, but not bad.  They taste just like the Ore-Ida crinkle fries I can make in my oven.  At least they weren't the disgusting instant-potato fries from before.  Then came the burger.  I enjoy a good spicy meal every now and then and this sandwich hit the spot.  And the condiments were pretty normal - except for the mayo, they seem to love mayo.

All-in-all, I'm glad I gave Burger King another try.  It's still not my favorite, but at least it's no longer my least favorite - that award goes to Denny's (no sit-down restaurant should ever serve instant potatoes).

Sometimes my boys (even my husband) do things that I remember and hold a grudge to.  Not a terrible grudge, but things like Husband doesn't fold shirts square, or No.1 sprayed too much cleanser, or No.2 had an accident, so I tend to fold the laundry, clean the bathrooms, and put No.2 in Pull-ups.  I don't give second chances very well.  I'd rather do it myself.  But I need to allow second, third, fourth, sixty-seventh chances.  It allows growth.  It allows discovery.  And who knows, maybe that once dreaded task will become my new favorite one at which to watch someone else succeed.

So, here's to second tries.

Here's to no more grudges.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Said Whatever

Somethings you have no control over.  That's hard for me to understand and deal with.  I like to be in control, or at least know what's going on and hand control over to someone else.  I don't like the unknown.  I don't like wishy-washy.  I like things firm and concrete.

Today my sister-in-law and her 4 kids came to live with us for the week.  Her husband got a job here in September and she was just able to get one here, too.  So, I cleaned up the house, bought special groceries, laid out expectations for my kids and hers, and put everything else to rest.

Things did not go as planned for their arrival.  That frustrates me.  But, whatever.  My mother- and father-in-law went out to their old house and picked up the kids.  That frustrates me.  But, whatever.  We don't want the kids using our air mattresses because, although we love them, we have observed that they are not the best with other people's property.  And that frustrates me.  But, whatever.  When my sil did come, she came upstairs to talk to me during my one of two favorite tv shows and I didn't get to see/hear the ending.  That frustrates me.  But, whatever.

Whatever!

Not like a teenager's "whatever!", just an "it's really not a big deal in the long run of things, so whatever."

Yes, potential guests should inform the host of any delays.  Yes, you should not make people travel 3.5 hours to pick up your kids when there were other ways to get them there.  Yes, house guests should respect the rules and property of the home.  Yes, you should see that someone is engaged in an activity and not bother them.  But, really?  How much of that was anything I could control (maybe I could have asked her to talk later, I only have 15-minutes left to this show, and I'd like to see how it ends)?

So, how can I apply this to parenting?

First, I need to allow others to take the wheel sometimes.  Allowing No.1 to plan out and implement just how he is going to clean his room will be fine.  Sure, I would put things away according to category (all the clothes in the hamper then all the Playmobiles in the box then all the books on the shelf), but if he wants to do it randomly, whatever, it'll still get done, right?

Secondly, I need to just let go of the things that don't go according to plan.  If my husband isn't home in time to watch the boys while I teach piano, whatever, my piano student's parents have kids and know sometimes spouses end up late at work for unexpected reasons.

Thirdly, I need to accept that sometimes (actually oftentimes) other people need me.  When No.2 is having a difficult time sleeping due to whatever it is that worries a 2-year old, then I need to put my crochet hook down, turn off the tv, or put a bookmark in and tend to his needs.  Not that I don't already do that, it's just that I often do it begrudgingly.  But, now, whatever.  The yarn will wait, the show will be online tomorrow, the pages can be read later.

So, here's to sometimes giving in.

Here's to, well, whatever.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Saw Joy

No.1 does not enjoy soccer.  I don't think he ever has, but Daddy played as a boy, and, by-george, so will No.1 (and probably No.2 - but I think he'll actually like it).  After last Saturday's game, I told my husband that after this season, we were done.  No more soccer.  "Ok," he said.  He finally saw what I'd been seeing for such a long time.

Then, today, whadoyaknow, No.1 played the best soccer game of his life!  He was placed in a defense position.  He hung out by the goal and blocked nearly every goal attempt made by the other team.  I actually never saw the other team score on No.1 (I was probably taking No.2 to the potty - fun times).  And while our team was trying to score, No.1 one was dancing and having fun at the other end of the field.  Yes, at times he was goofing off, but for the most part, he was really having fun.

For the first time in a long while, I saw him enjoying soccer.  He found his niche.  He found something he could do well.  He found joy in soccer.

Now, we're sort of at an impass.  He discovered he loves defense in soccer, but said he wants to try baseball.  So, who knows what next spring will bring, but for now I was just thrilled to see him having fun...finally.

So, here's to finding our niche.

Here's to enjoying situations, even though they might not be our favorite.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.

The Day I Went Out

My husband stayed home today (not feeling well), so I was able to help out at No.1's school this afternoon without No.2 tagging along (would have been difficult because of the activity I was assisting with).  It was great to get out and be with No.1 in his daytime environment.

No.1 is so funny because he'll ask, no, beg me to come help out at the school (I go every Monday morning already), but when I get there, a huge smile spreads across his face but soon, it's not biggie that I'm there.  Still, I don't go to get smothered with "Mommy, Mommy!"  I go to help out his teacher.  But I sure do love that smile.

THEN, tonight I hung out with some girlfriends.  We watched a couple episodes of Wives and Daughters and just enjoyed each others company without kids - we love our kids, and we love our friends, and we love when the two don't always mix.

So, here's to taking a break.

Here's to time with friends.

And here's to a Better Mommy Me.